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Toasted Pecan Shortbread with Spiked Toffee Sauce

Toasted Pecan Shortbread with Spiked Toffee Sauce

I wrote this post as part of the Plugrá Butter Brigade. Thanks, Plugrá, for sponsoring this post and for making my favorite butter!

I don’t know about you, but I really needed BatKid this past week. If I’d known how profoundly BatKid would affect me, in fact, I would’ve sent up the bat signal long before now.

Toasted Pecan Shortbread with Spiked Toffee Sauce

In case you’ve been living under a rock (no judgment; I hear it’s warm under there), I’m referring to how San Francisco morphed into Gotham City this past week for Miles, a 5-year-old child recovering from leukemia. The city transformed to honor Miles’ request to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, which grants wishes to children diagnosed with life-threatening conditions.

Toasted Pecan Shortbread with Spiked Toffee Sauce

Some kids wish to go to Disneyland. Others wish to have an Army Fort to play on. Others want to meet real ballerinas.

Miles’ wish was just as characteristic for a 5-year-old child: to be a superhero. What was surprising, though, was how the wish played out. Make-A-Wish used social media to round up volunteers to create scenarios for BatKid to save the day. Once all was said and done, an army of over 12,000 people participated in Miles’ experience. He rescued a damsel in distress, stopped a bank robbery, recovered a captive Lou Seal, and received the (chocolate version of the) key to the city. People all around the world tweeted and instagrammed messages of support to tiny #BatKid.

Toasted Pecan Shortbread with Spiked Toffee Sauce

Maybe this seems like a lot of trouble for one kid at first glance. (If so, however, I hope you’ll take a second glance and note that this kid who’s been through trauma even adults struggle to face deserves every moment of his wonderful day.) But the most beautiful thing about BatKid’s day is that it doesn’t just affect BatKid. It affects his family, who now feels the force of a whole city — a whole world — behind them as they face their greatest fears. It affects other families navigating similar circumstances, who can now see the love available for them in their communities. It affects the volunteers, who surely gathered more hope and inspiration from playing a role in Miles’ adventure than he could ever imagine. And it affects the people watching from home through tears of surprise and joy — so many different people. People who have been laboring under negative and critical thoughts, having a hard time at work, dealing with a breakup, navigating the loss of a family member. Millions of people watched Penguin’s capture and simultaneously received a refill of trust in the world, as if Miles had really locked at least a few of our demons behind bars.

I needed that. I don’t know about you, but I really did.

Thank you, San Francisco. And thank you, Miles, for sharing your wish with all of us.

Toasted Pecan Shortbread with Spiked Toffee Sauce

On a different scale but still in the spirit of sharing love, I’m sharing these cookies with you. This recipe is the very best cookie recipe for butter lovers out there. Buttery shortbread with toasted pecans is slathered with a rich rum-spiked toffee sauce. Both recipes (the cookies and toffee) are quick and easy to make, but together, they make for a transcendent tea time. I used Plugrá butter, my favorite because of its low moisture content, which makes for lovely crisp shortbreads. You would be remiss to leave these amazing cookies off your Christmas cookie list!

Enjoy — and if you haven’t already seen them, may I suggest scrolling through photos of #BatKid’s derring do as you nibble on your shortbreads? Just to make a sweet moment sweeter.

One year ago: Pimiento Cheese Cookies
Two years ago: Pumpkin Streusel Swirled Cream Cheese Pound Cake
Three years ago: Easy Apple Puff Pastry Tarts with Almond Whipped Cream
Four years ago: Creamy Chicken and Green Chile Enchiladas with Mexican Sausage Rice

Toasted Pecan Shortbread with Spiked Toffee Sauce


Recipe by: Adapted from Ina Garten
Yield: around 20 shortbread cookies

The butteriest! These buttery shortbread cookies boast toasty pecans throughout, and the buttery rum-spiked toffee is the perfect complement. You’re gonna love these.

Cookie Ingredients:
3/4 pound (1 1/2 cups) unsalted Plugrá butter, at room temperature
1 cup sugar, plus extra for sprinkling
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup chopped toasted pecans*

Toffee Ingredients:
1 cup light brown sugar
1/2 cup Plugrá butter
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
1/4 cup dark rum

Directions:
*To toast pecans: spread pecans on a baking sheet and bake at 350 degrees F for around 6-7 minutes, tossing occasionally, until fragrant. Chop while still warm.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour and salt. In a separate, large bowl, cream the softened butter and sugar together for 1-2 minutes. Add in the vanilla extract. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and mix until combined. Pulverize the toasted pecans in a food processor for a few pulses (or crush by hand) until very fine, and then stir into the dough by hand. Turn the dough out onto a sheet of plastic wrap, form into a thick rectangle, and refrigerate 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and cover three baking sheets with parchment paper. Roll the dough out on a lightly floured surface to a rectangle of 1/2-inch thickness. Cut the dough into 1-inch by 3-inch rectangles and place these on a cookie sheet (position them 2 inches apart because they will spread slightly). Bake the cookies for around 20 minutes, rotating and switching positions of baking sheets once partway through baking. Remove the cookies when they’re just slightly colored on the edges and let them cool completely on their baking sheets.

To make the toffee sauce, bring the brown sugar, butter, heavy whipping cream, and rum to a boil in a heavy saucepan over high heat, whisking frequently. Once the mixture boils, turn the heat down slightly to medium-high heat and whisk constantly for 8 minutes, until the mixture is thickened. Pour the mixture into a serving bowl. Serve it smeared on cooled shortbread cookies. Store any extra cookies and toffee sauce in airtight containers, heating up the toffee sauce in the microwave to refresh as needed.

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Baked Caramel Apple Cheesecake Dumplings

Baked Caramel Apple Cheesecake Dumplings
Baked Caramel Apple Cheesecake Dumplings

Thanks to Werther’s Original® for sponsoring this recipe post!

I may have achieved some sort of maximum gym awkwardness today. I was super proud of myself for tugging on my workout gear and going to an extra Zumba class today, but in retrospect, I can now declare with utmost certainty that I should’ve stayed home. BECAUSE:

1. I’d never been to this Zumba class before and it was in a huge classroom. The teacher was on the other side of it, meaning I couldn’t see her at all. I think plenty of other students were in the same boat and doing their own random dances, so I couldn’t really follow them either. As a result, I spent most of the class wobbling uncertainly from side to side like an antsy walrus. Probably with a really confused look on my face.

Baked Caramel Apple Cheesecake Dumplings

2. There was this one song with approximately 80 bajillion partner segments. You were supposed to find a partner and booty dance with them, but since I am socially awkward and weirdly shy sometimes, I partner danced alone. All 80 bajillion times. And forced the girl beside me to partner dance alone, too, since I was the only possible partner in her vicinity and I was clearly too awkward to bother with.

Baked Caramel Apple Cheesecake Dumplings

3. After my bizarre Zumba class, I went back to the locker room and tried to open my lock approximately 80 bajillion times. My combination is 13-21-11. That combination did not work. My only guess is that my lock forgot its own combination, because I DID NOT FORGET MY COMBINATION. IT IS 13-21-11. You may wonder why I feel comfortable announcing my lock combination on my food blog. WELL, BECAUSE:

Baked Caramel Apple Cheesecake Dumplings

4. After 80 bajillion attempts to open my lock failed, I had to ask the gym dude to please cut the lock off my locker. This sounds approximately 80 bajillion times simpler than it actually was.

Gym dude had to ask another gym dude where the bolt cutters were, look for them for 30 minutes because that gym dude wouldn’t come over to help, wait outside the locker room while a woman finished changing, send me in to evacuate the locker room, try for 15 minutes to cut the lock off, get now-changed woman’s help cutting the lock off, get lazy gym dude’s help cutting the lock off, etc.

Finally, a group of roughly 15 of us (okay, 4) got my lock cut off my locker and I was able to tell the ladies in the sauna that it was safe to come out into the locker room again. THAT’S WHY I CAN TELL YOU MY LOCK COMBINATION. Because my lock has been cut in half.

Baked Caramel Apple Cheesecake Dumplings

Needless to say, I crawled out of the gym after apologizing to everyone about 80 bajillion times and am seriously considering never going to that Zumba class again. Also, I’m going to eat a Baked Caramel Apple Cheesecake Dumpling now to soothe my nerves. In summary, I will gain roughly 2 pounds because of this trip to the gym. Exercise fail.

These Baked Caramel Apple Cheesecake Dumplings are the perfect comfort food for these kind of nights. They’re a riff on the classic Baked Apple Dumplings — apples baked in pie crust — except they include a unique cinnamon cheesecake center! Serve them with ice cream, a drizzle of Werther’s Original® Baking Caramels (did you know they make baking caramels now? So easy and quick — and made with real butter and cream), and toasted pecans.

One year ago: “Magic” Chocolate, Coconut, and Pecan Pastry Braid
Two years ago: Naked Vegan Tacos with Corn Relish and Cilantro-Lime Slaw
Three years ago: Pizzas Benedict and Deep Dish Pizza Cupfakes
Four years ago: Two Terrific Tarts: Chocolate and Raspberry Cream Cheese

Baked Caramel Apple Cheesecake Dumplings


Recipe by: Willow Bird Baking, adapted from Brown Eyed Baker and Taste of Home
Yield: 4 servings

Baked Apple Dumplings with a cinnamon cheesecake center. These are a heavenly fall dessert!

Pastry Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup lard or vegetable shortening, chilled
1/4 cup butter, chilled and cut into cubes
3 tablespoons ice water

Apple Ingredients:
4 medium apples, peeled
2 1/2 tablespoons granulated sugar
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

Cheesecake Ingredients:
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
3 tablespoons teaspoons sugar
2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1 egg

Sauce Ingredients:
3/4 cups light brown sugar
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup butter, cubed
pinch salt
Werther’s Original® Baking Caramels, melted
toasted pecans*

Directions:
*Note: To toast pecans, spread them out on a baking sheet and bake at 350 degrees F for about 6 minutes or until fragrant, tossing several times.

Make the pastry: Pulse the flour and salt together in the bowl of a food processor to combine. Add the lard in hunks and pulse for about 10 seconds until it’s the texture of coarse sand. Add in the chunks of cold butter and pulse for about 10 pulses until butter pieces are no larger than small peas. Add 3 tablespoons of ice cold water and turn food processor on low — the dough should form a dough ball in a few seconds. If the dough remains crumbly and doesn’t come together, add another tablespoon of water. Add as little water total as is required for the dough to form a ball. Divide the dough into 4 equal portions on sheets of plastic wrap, form each into a disk, and chill for at least 20-30 minutes while completing the rest of the recipe.

Make the cheesecake: In a medium bowl, mix the cheesecake filling ingredients together. Scrape the filling into a ziplock bag and chill while you complete the rest of the recipe.

Prepare the apples: Core each of your peeled apples, taking out a core of about 1 to 1 1/2-inch diameter so you have space for your cheesecake filling. Mix together the 2 1/2 tablespoons sugar and 2 teaspoons cinnamon to form a cinnamon-sugar mixture and roll each apple in the mixture. Reserve any leftover cinnamon-sugar mixture.

Assemble: Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F and spray a 9 x 13-inch baking dish with cooking spray. Roll out each portion of the pie pastry on a lightly floured surface to a rough 7-inch square. Place an apple on the center of each. Cut off the corner of the ziplock bag of cheesecake filling and pipe filling into the center of each apple. Then pull up the corners of the pie pastry and tuck each corner into the center of the apple, pinching the dough together to seal. Place the apples into the prepared baking dish and sprinkle with the remaining cinnamon-sugar mixture.

Make the sauce: Heat the brown sugar, water, and butter in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat until it boils, stirring occasionally. Pour the sauce over the apples and bake them, basting occasionally, for 50 to 55 minutes or until tender and golden brown. If the cheesecake seems to be getting too dark on top, cover it with a snippet of foil. Serve warm with vanilla bean ice cream, a drizzle of melted Werther’s caramel, and toasted pecans.

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Gooey Carmelitas

It’s the detritus that gets me: the rainbow of miscellaneous crap lying everywhere after I’ve packed a bajillion boxes.

Listen, I can pack boxes all day long. My obsessive-compulsive brain relishes the opportunity to play real-life Tetris with my possessions, categorizing them and nestling them together in a perfect cube. I can handle that.

But all of this CRAP. What even is all this stuff? On my counters and in my cabinets there is a veritable jungle of odds and ends: a lint roller, baggies, a leaf (what?), a random assortment of screws and hardware-looking-thingies, a hair band, a button that probably matches some a clothing item I own, a billion notes and receipts and coupons and CORDS. WHAT THE CRAP DO ALL THESE CORDS GO TO?!

What IS this stuff? It makes me lose my ever-lovin’ perfectionist MIND. What box do I put it in? It can’t go with the kitchen stuff. It can’t go in a box of clothes. I could have a giant miscellaneous box, but isn’t that the moving equivalent of a junk drawer — something I’ve guarded myself against developing for years?

I’m getting down to that point, though. I’ve packed all the clothes, all the dishes, all the turtle supplies, all the toiletries (even, funny story, the toilet paper — which I then realized we weren’t quite finished with. Oops.) I’ve packed all the categories. And I’m up to my eyeballs in the detritus. Since we have but a few precious hours until morning comes and the movers arrive, I might go crazy and start flinging things into a junk-box sooner than I expect.

At least I take comfort in the knowledge that most of you out there are sitting in a comfy chair in a fully unpacked home, and that hopefully someday within the next week or so, I will join you (in having a fully unpacked home, that is; not in your home. That would be weird. Unless you’re making carmelitas, in which case, I’ll be over in a few.)

These carmelitas are the maximum in ooey gooey chocolatey goodness. Heated up with a drizzle of chocolate and caramel and a big scoop of vanilla bean ice cream, they really are the bee’s knees. I need to stress eat one or two (eight.) right about now!

One year ago: Sausage & Toast Breakfast Strata in Baked Tomatoes
Two years ago: Apple Cinnamon Cream Cupcakes: NOT Back-to-School Cupcakes!
Three years ago: Old-Fashioned Burger Stand Burgers & Easy French Fries
Four years ago: Chocolate Cheesecake Stuffed Cupcakes with Ganache

Gooey Carmelitas

Recipe by: Adapted from Our Best Bites
Yield: 20 carmelitas

These are gooey, chocolatey, caramelly, and amazing! They’re quick and simple to make, and served warm with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream, they’re to die for.

Ingredients:
1 cup butter, softened
1 3/4 cups packed brown sugar
1/4 cups packed dark brown sugar (or you can use all light)
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
3 cups quick-cooking rolled oats
1 cup mini semisweet chocolate chips
1 Ghirardelli dark chocolate bar (I used 86%)
1/2 cup chopped toasted pecans (optional)
store-bought caramel sauce, warmed according to package directions

Directions:
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and line a 9 x 13-inch baking dish with parchment paper, leaving an overhang that will help you to pull the bars out later. Spray the paper a little with cooking spray.

Beat butter in a large mixing bowl until fluffy. Add brown sugars and cream until fluffy, 2-3 minutes, scraping down the bowl as needed. Beat in eggs, vanilla extract, baking soda, and salt. Add the flour slowly, mixing until just combined, and then stir in the oats. Press about 2/3 of the dough into your prepared pan, covering the bottom. Sprinkle chocolate chips, pieces of the chocolate bar, and nuts (if using) over the top. Pour caramel sauce over top just until the bars are all nice and drizzles (you probably won’t use the whole jar).

Take pinches of the rest of your oat mixture and flatten them into “shingles” in your hands, laying them over top of your chocolate and caramel filling until it’s roughly covered. Bake the bars for 22-25 minutes or until top is light brown. Don’t overbake them. Let the bars cool in the dish until they are room temperature. Lift them out and onto a cutting board and slice (I like to drizzle them with melted chocolate at this point). You can store them in an airtight container until you’re ready to serve them — and at that point, I recommend heating them up and adding a big scoop of vanilla bean ice cream!

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Almond Scones with Raspberry Jam and Clotted Cream

There are the stories I don’t want to tell, and then there are the stories I haven’t been able to tell. Probably some of the most important stories.

Namely, the stories about Ranson.

Ranson was the first school that I taught at: a poorly run, urban middle school with a low-income and historically low-achieving population. I came in as a promising, energetic new teacher determined (pigheadedly and presumptuously, I’d say) to change the entire world.

Throughout the year I did effect change — on a smaller scale than I’d originally hoped. I raised students’ mastery and reading comprehension, but also became aware that when a kid had no breakfast, or when a kid’s dad was in prison, or when a kid was being raised by a saint of an aunt who had to work back-to-back 12-hour shifts at the hospital just to feed and clothe him . . . well, there was much more of the world that needed changing than I had first anticipated.

Anyway, I still can’t tell every story. I can’t tell most stories. But today I realized that I’m ready to tell you about Darius. Maybe over afternoon tea?

It cracks me up that Darius left the most indelible mark on my memory, because I pegged him as trouble within a week of starting school. First off, he was loud. Not just chattery, but LOUD. He involuntarily projected every remark, making my cinderblock science classroom sound like a cathedral reverberating with bells and song.

He also struggled to manage his emotions. Certain triggers made it even harder. For instance, that boy loved his mama. I can remember trying to talk him down in the middle of the cafeteria after someone had inadvertently insulted her. He was near tears with frustration. Suspension, expulsion — none of it meant a thing to him if he could defend her. What did cause a visible change in his demeanor was when I asked, “What would she want you to do right now, Darius? What would make her proud?”

I cared so much because it was easy to see that Darius was a fabulous kid. He was smart. He was an incredibly talented dancer. He was hilarious — oh my gosh, I can’t even describe how funny he was. I ran a tight ship in terms of classroom management, and he was about the only kid who could make me just fall out LAUGHING. He also had a deep well of empathy and concern for others — things you didn’t always see at Ranson, because some kids seemed to have learned to hide the tender personality traits that made them vulnerable. But Darius wore his heart on his sleeve.

I still remember Darius asking every day when I was going to let his mom, who was a hair stylist, do my hair. I never got around to it, and now I regret it. It would’ve meant a lot to him.

I know I’m supposed to make this a happy story, but it isn’t.

To be blunt and a little crude, it pisses me off that Darius had to go to a substandard school and that didn’t get a shot at a snazzy education. It pisses me off to think of this kid struggling to find a job and keep his life on track now, at 19 years old: trying to climb out of a socioeconomic level and a neighborhood he was born into through no fault of his own. When I googled him to write this entry, just to see if maybe a Facebook page would pop up where I could send him a message of encouragement, I found his mugshot — arrested for stealing ground beef, spaghetti noodles, a pack of beer, and some candy.

Oh MAN it pisses me off when other people aren’t similarly pissed off by this! When they throw up their hands and suggest perhaps people should just work harder instead of revising how our nation deals with poverty. Oh man! It’s because they don’t know Darius, the 14-year-old kid I knew, who hadn’t made those “bad choices” we always speak of yet, whose mom worked so hard for him, who worked just as hard as any 14-year-old kid does, who could’ve been helped.

Indeed, I can picture a different history: Darius here at my little project-based school set on a lush, green campus. I know he’d have worked dance into every nook of the curriculum. I know he’d have had the students in stitches each day with his witty remarks. I know he would’ve worked hard to make his mom proud. He would’ve performed in plays and he would’ve loved art and music class. I can picture that kid heading off to Juilliard in New York City and eventually wowing audiences on Broadway. I’m not being generous, here. That’s who he was. That’s who he should be.

Sitting in my anger and stewing like a chicken won’t help (and what a nasty, bitter stock it’d produce.) In the long term, idealistic Ms. Ruble who wanted to change the world will never be able to stop trying. I want the school systems to be small and creatively managed. I want teaching to be a prestigious profession where extremely qualified people are hired and then compensated well and treated like professionals. I want school systems to bus kids around and balance school populations. I want a full-out multi-front assault on poverty that provides people immediate assistance, addresses education issues (for adults and children), provides job training, focuses on creating jobs, addresses drug and alcohol abuse, provides appropriate basic healthcare for all people, effectively treats mental illness. I get it: I’m talking about huge things in this flippant, simplistic way. It’s harder than that. I get it. But that’s what I want.

And in the short term, that idealistic Ms. Ruble knows that Darius himself has an indomitable spirit, and that he can overcome tremendous odds. I just know it. Or at least that’s what I have to hope. And I want him to know that about himself.

For now, I think we need to have a little rest with a pot of hot tea, maybe with sugar sprinkled in and some cream for good measure. And a fluffy almond scone or three would not go unappreciated. Afternoon tea party for the world? Maybe I’m still oversimplifying a bit, but that might go a long way toward inspiring world peace and prosperity.

These scones are quick and easy to throw together, but they do make your world a brighter place. They’re fluffy, tall, buttery, and boast a sweet almond glaze and a crunch from the sugar sprinkled on top. Smear them with clotted (also called Devon) cream if you can find it at a fancy grocery store; otherwise, you can whip some mascarpone cheese or cream cheese and use it instead. Add a smear of raspberry jam for perfection.

What’s your pie-in-the-sky idealist dream for your world or community right now? (Other than lots of scones, which is a given.)

One year ago: Chocolatey Red Velvet Pull-Apart Bread with Cream Cheese Glaze
Two years ago: Deep Fried Cake Batter Cookie Dough
Three years ago: A&P Spanish Bar Cake

Almond Scones with Raspberry Jam and Clotted Cream


Recipe by: Adapted from Barefoot Contessa’s Cranberry Orange Scone recipe
Yield: about 14 scones

I love scones because they’re so quick and easy, but are absolutely divine in terms of texture and flavor. These scones are very lightly sweet, and the glaze adds a much needed dimension, along with a sprinkle of crunchy sugar. Serve with clotted cream and raspberry jam while hot out of the oven. This recipe also provides instructions for freezing the scones for amazing, speedy weekday breakfasts!

Ingredients:
4 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup sugar, plus additional for sprinkling (I used coarse sanding sugar for sprinkling)
2 tablespoons baking powder
2 teaspoons kosher salt
3/4 pound cold unsalted butter, diced
1 cup cold heavy cream
1 teaspoon almond extract
4 large eggs, lightly beaten
1 egg beaten with 2 tablespoons water or milk, for egg wash

Glaze Ingredients:
1 cup powdered sugar
1 teaspoon almond extract
1/4 cup milk (or cream — I used cream, but it does separate and probably isn’t quite as pretty as milk)
raspberry jam, for serving
clotted or Devon cream, for serving (or substitute whipped mascarpone)

Directions:
Note: You can make scones, shape them, egg wash them, and then freeze them on a baking sheet. Once frozen, you can drop them in an airtight container or bag separated by sheets of wax paper. You can then bake them straight from frozen any morning you want one — just by baking a few minutes longer than normal. So convenient!

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F and line two baking sheets with parchment paper. In the bowl of a food processor, mix together flour, 1/4 cup sugar, baking powder, and salt. Add cold butter and pulse about 10 times or until the butter is the size of small peas (you can also do this by hand in a large bowl, using a pastry cutter or two knives to cut in the butter). In a small bowl or measuring cup, mix together lightly beaten eggs, heavy cream, and almond extract. While mixing the flour mixture on low, pour in the wet ingredients slowly. Keep mixing on low until the mixture forms a dough and begins to form a ball. Turn it out onto a floured surface and knead a turn or two, forming into a disc.

Roll the dough out to 3/4-inch thick, moving it around on the floured surface often to make sure it’s not sticking. Flour a 3-inch round cookie cutter and cut round scones, laying each on the prepared baking sheets. Re-roll the dough and continue cutting scones. When all scones are cut, egg wash just the tops of each one and sprinkle on the coarsest sugar you can find (the crunch is so nice). Bake in the 400 degree oven for 20-25 minutes until risen, lightly golden, and done on the inside.

While the scones bake, whisk together all glaze ingredients. Add more sugar or milk as needed for consistency. Drizzle over hot scones and serve immediately with raspberry jam and clotted cream (also called Devon cream). If you can’t find clotted cream, grab some mascarpone cheese and whisk it a bit until fluffy. Use that instead.

*Darius’s name has been changed to protect his privacy.

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Spiced Crispies (Chivda, or Indian Snack Mix)

I’m not a psychologist or anything, but I feel uniquely qualified after a recent shopping trip to characterize the following 5 stages of grief involved in holiday grocery shopping.

I was all set to make this chivda (which, by the way, is a fantastic Indian snack mix that you need a huge bowl of right now) after two trips to the Indian grocery store. The only ingredient I still needed was a box of golden raisins. ONE STUPID BOX OF GOLDEN RAISINS. Little did I know the wide range of emotions I was about to experience.

STAGE ONE: Denial.

Mike and I arrived at a Walmart that almost certainly exceeded its maximum occupancy. A sea of cars greeted us in the parking lot, followed by a sea of frustrated faces perched paradoxically above jingly Christmas sweaters inside the store.

We combed the aisles for raisins before finally locating them in the baking aisle and finding that the shelf had been — there’s really no other way to describe it — ransacked. Like, tiny ninja elves had climbed all over it and kicked packages around in a game of tiny ninja elf football. I glanced over the mess. No golden raisins in sight. Mike shrugged and, just like a man, offered, “Guess they don’t have any.”

I was obviously the more sane of the two of us. “THEY HAVE TO HAVE THEM,” I replied, shuffling through every single box. No golden raisins.

I argued with the reality staring me in the face: “ALL GROCERY STORES HAVE THEM.” I shuffled through every single box a second time.

As if perhaps this information would help, or as if Mike were, like me, continuing a deluded search through the shelves, I added, “THEY’RE LIKE RAISINS, BUT THEY’RE GOLDEN.” He stood behind me, hands in his pockets, letting the scene play out. I must have gone through the shelves five times in all, positive that at any moment, I was going to see that little yellow box peeking out at me from behind the dried cranberries. Mike backed a little farther away when I started talking to myself.

STAGE TWO: Anger / Delirium.

“SERIOUSLY, IN WHAT UNIVERSE DOES WALMART NOT HAVE A SINGLE BOX OF GOLDEN RAISINS? THERE’S THE SPOT ON THE SHELF THAT SAYS GOLDEN RAISINS! HOW COULD THEY BE SOLD OUT? NOBODY EVEN EATS GOLDEN RAISINS. WHAT THE CRAP!” I half-laughed, half-snorted in Mike’s arms. He patted my shoulder, uncertain of the appropriate response.

Finally, he tried, “Why don’t we go to a different store?” which only produced another round of angry grunting.

STAGE THREE: Bargaining.

As I combed through other aisles, thinking perhaps that the golden raisins were shelved with the canned fruit, or with the snacks, or with the holiday display, or with the toilet paper (I don’t know!), Mike tried another line of reasoning. “You know, with the time we’re spending here looking for them, we could already be at another store.”

“It’s not the time, it’s the inconvenience. I’d rather sit here for 2 more hours looking for these flippin’ raisins than check out, walk all the way back to the car, drive to another store, and repeat this whole process. I seriously will walk around until I find them. If I just walk around long enough, I have to find a box.”

STAGE FOUR: Depression.

After walking down all of the possible aisles three separate times, I stood morosely by the freezer section, watching Mike select turkey burgers. He debated over two brands while I moped. Who even cared which brand of turkey burgers? It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.

STAGE FIVE: Acceptance OR, if you’re me, CREATING AN ALTERNATE REALITY.

Normally this stage of grief is where you can finally accept your loss. There are no golden raisins, you’re still alive, the world will go on.

If you’re like me, though, this is not acceptable. There will be no acceptance! Not a bit of it!

I looked around and noticed the pallets being unloaded around the store. It was that unique time of night when the Walmart folks start stocking the shelves for the next day. Suddenly, I knew what I must do. “The pallets!” I shouted, taking off and leaving a confused Mike standing with a box of turkey burgers still in each hand.

Sure enough, a huge pallet of boxes stacked twice as tall as me sat by the baking aisle. I ran around it like a toddler around a Christmas tree until — GLORY, GLORY HALLELUJAH! — I saw the little Sun-Maid raisin box near the bottom. “Come help!” I yelled to Mike, who was walking up and only just now realizing how crazy I really was. He reluctantly started shifting boxes.

A Walmart stocker, who probably hated people like me with every ounce of her being, asked, “Do you need any help?”

“Oh, no, I’m sorry. I just need a box of golden raisins. Is this okay?” I asked, still frantically shoving boxes around to get to the Sun-Maid box. I pulled off the top and pulled out the prize — that beautiful yellow box! The stocker nodded and walked off, clearly avoiding saying any of the things she probably wanted to say to me. Mike and I neatly stacked the boxes back as penance.

I looked up after our wonderful adventure to find Mike shaking his head incredulously. “I told you I was going to get them,” I said, grinning. “And you do realize that this is the worst kind of reinforcement for me.” Glowing with triumph, I walked out of Walmart (after paying, duh), feeling like the hero of my new reality.

* * *

Annnnd then, lucky for Mike, I got home and burned the entire first batch of chivda — and all my beautiful golden raisins with it. I have learned two lessons: one, Mike is a saint. Two, reality bites.

One year ago: Brown Butter Cookie Dough Pretzel Bars
Two years ago: Magic Bars
Three years ago: Taco Stuffed Crescent Rolls

Spiced Crispies (Chivda, or Indian snack mix)


Recipe by: adapted from kimberlite8, inspired by Poppy
Yield: about 3 1/2 cups of snack mix

Chivda is a common Indian snack mix (think of it as Indian Chex Mix!) also called Bombay Mix in the U.K. This version salty-sweet mix is a flavor explosion, to say the least: it combines sultry curry leaves and toasted spices with toasted nuts and golden raisins. You’ll be addicted in no time. I provided substitutes for the few Indian ingredients you need, but it’s really worth it to pop over to an Indian grocery if you have one — especially for curry leaves and sev. The whole recipe is super quick — about 20 minutes, flat — so prepare your mise-en-place ahead of time (have everything set out.)

Ingredients:
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 1/2 teaspoons mustard seed
1/2 teaspoon fennel seed
3/4 teaspoons poppy seed
1/2 teaspoon cumin seed
1/4 teaspoon ground red pepper
1/8 teaspoon turmeric
3 tablespoons corn syrup
3/4 teaspoons dry mango powder*
1/2 scant teaspoon kosher salt

heaping 1/4 cup roasted, salted cashews
heaping 1/4 cup chopped pecans
1/4 cup roasted, salted pumpkin or sunflower seeds
2 cups puffed rice cereal (like Rice Krispies)
1/2 cup sev**
1/2 teaspoon sugar
3/8 cup golden raisins
about 2-3 fresh curry leaves, chopped finely***

NOTES:
* Dry mango powder can be found at an Indian grocery. You should be able to substitute using a tablespoon or so of lemon juice, but I haven’t tried that.
** Sev are crunchy “noodles” made from chickpea flour and can be found at an Indian grocery. You could also substitute chow mein noodles or small pretzels, but sev is seriously so good.
*** Curry leaves are also found in an Indian grocery and add such a great flavor, texture, and color to the finished product. If you can’t find them, I think you could add about 1/8 teaspoon of curry powder in with the red pepper and turmeric, though I haven’t tried this.

Directions:
Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. In a large bowl, place cashews, pecans, pumpkin or sunflower seeds, puffed rice cereal, and sev. Next to this bowl, set two big spoons sprayed with cooking spray.

This is a recipe where you want to have a great mise-en-place before you begin, because cooking goes quickly! Prepare three prep bowls: prep bowl #1 with mustard seed, fennel seed, poppy seed, and cumin seed; prep bowl #2 with ground red pepper and turmeric; and prep bowl #3 with corn syrup, dry mango powder, and salt. In a large saucepan, heat vegetable oil over medium heat until it shimmers (test with a cumin seed — it should bubble very slightly when dropped in). When oil is ready, add all the seeds from prep bowl #1 and let them begin to sizzle for about 30 seconds, stirring occasionally. Add in the red pepper and turmeric in prep bowl #2 and let the mixture continue to sizzle for another 30 seconds or so, stirring occasionally, until spices are lightly toasted and fragrant. Add mango powder, salt, and corn syrup from prep bowl #3 and let cook until corn syrup is bubbly, about 30 more seconds. Pour this mixture all over the puffed rice cereal mixture in the large bowl and use your sprayed spoons to toss and mix it gently until well-coated.

Spread the mixture on the prepared baking sheet, breaking up any large clumps gently, and bake for 12-15 minutes, tossing every few minutes and sprinkling the 1/2 teaspoon sugar on halfway through, until nuts are toasted. Once removed from the oven, pour the mixture back into the large bowl and toss with golden raisins and chopped curry leaves. Serve hot or room temperature. Store, fully cooled, in an airtight container.

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