Coconut Cream Pie Bars

Thanks, Foodie, for sponsoring this post. It's pie month, so I made you some Coconut Cream Pie Bars!

Coconut Cream Pie Bars
Coconut Cream Pie Bars

5 from 1 reviews
Coconut Cream Pie Bars
 
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
THESE ARE SO AMAZING. MAKE THEM NOW.
Author:
Serves: 12-16
Ingredients
Crust Ingredients:
  • 1 cup (2 sticks) butter
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 cup powdered sugar
Coconut Cream Filling Ingredients:
  • 3 cups half-and-half
  • 3 cups coconut milk
  • 4 eggs
  • 1 1/2 cups white sugar
  • 2/3 cup cornstarch
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 1/2 cup flaked coconut
  • 1/2 teaspoon coconut extract
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Whipped Cream Topping Ingredients:
  • 2 cups heavy whipping cream
  • 1 tablespoon cold water (for stabilizing)
  • 1 teaspoon gelatin (for stabilizing)
  • 3-4 tablespoons powdered sugar
  • 1 cup coconut, for toasting
Instructions
  1. Make shortbread crust: Preheat your oven to 350°F. Prepare a 9 x 13 in. baking dish with a foil sling (I use one long sheet across the length of my dish, and two overlapping short sheets across the width of my dish — just arrange it so that it has some overlap and overhang to help you pull the bars out after they’re finished). Cut the butter into the flour and powdered sugar and press into the baking dish (I used a food processor to cut the fat into the flour — about 6-10 pulses — and then the bottom of a glass to press the mixture into the pan). Bake 18-20 minutes or until light brown. Set on a wire rack.
  2. Toast coconut for the topping: Spread about 1 cup of the coconut flakes out on a baking sheet and bake in the oven along with your shortbread crust for 3-6 minutes, stirring every minute or so, until the coconut is golden brown. Spread it out on a plate to cool completely.
  3. Make coconut cream filling: Combine the half-and-half, coconut milk, eggs, sugar, cornstarch, and salt in a large saucepan and bring it to a boil over medium-low heat, whisking constantly until it’s thick and bubbling (this can take anywhere from 15-30 minutes. Just do it. It’s worth it.) Add coconut and vanilla extracts and the 1 1/2 cups of untoasted coconut and stir. Pour this filling over your cooled crust, letting it cool for a bit on the counter before sticking the whole thing in the fridge to chill until firm, about 2 to 4 hours.
  4. Make whipped cream topping: Put 1 tablespoon cold water in a small bowl and sprinkle the gelatin evenly over the top. Let it soften for 2 minutes before microwaving it for 30 seconds and whisking to dissolve the gelatin. Using a chilled bowl and beater, whisk the 2 cups of heavy cream and powdered sugar together until the cream forms stiff peaks, stopping to add gelatin mixture about halfway through. Dollop the cream over your bars and gently spread it around. Sprinkle on toasted coconut. Chill until ready to serve to let the whipped cream set up. Use the sling to pull the bars out of the dish, slice with a sharp knife, and enjoy!

 

85 Comments on Coconut Cream Pie Bars

  1. lynn @ the actor's diet
    March 1, 2014 at 10:46 pm (2 years ago)

    I wanted a turtle so badly my entire childhood after reading Judy Blume’s “Tales of a 4th grade Nothing.” I finally bought one for myself in college, my freshman year (they were illegal in NJ where I grew up). Unfortunately, a prefrosh wound up killing my turtle (long story) but the 9 months I had her were glorious – though difficult! Scrubbing your hands before/after everything, cleaning that aquarium, etc. are too much for a busy college student.

    Reply
  2. Fran@fransfavs.com
    March 1, 2014 at 10:52 pm (2 years ago)

    Julie, I can’t even begin to tell you how much I enjoyed reading this post. I am still smiling and expect I will for the remainder of the evening. Your coconut cream pie bars do, indeed, look amazing. Didn’t realize that I could smile and drool at the same time!

    Reply
  3. Kate c
    March 1, 2014 at 10:54 pm (2 years ago)

    Oh my gosh, that is the most adorable story EVER!!! You should do a survey of how many readers actually googled turtle penises…as I am going to do out of basic curiosity after typing this. My brother went through a similar animal rescue situation with a bunny. He was fostering it for the shelter. It came to them with a broken hind leg. My bro had to try to keep said bunny from hopping…which never worked out well. After 5 (seriously) surgeries (thankfully, paid for by the shelter), bunny got the bad leg amputated…and now lives blissfully with my brother, sister in law, and two kitty sisters…bouncing around, albeit a bit lopsidedly. Rescue pets are the best!!!

    Reply
  4. Holly
    March 2, 2014 at 1:07 am (2 years ago)

    I’m surprised you didn’t mention how long turtles live. They can live 30+ years, so they really are a long-term investment. We started with five baby red-eared sliders in a 5-gallon aquarium which led to a 20-gallon tank and eventually a backyard pond. I never used a filter but changed the water often. The pond has a huge filter, though, and a heater so they don’t have to hibernate in the winter. We have a total of 12 turtles now, not because they reproduced, but because we were given a lot of turtles that people got tired of taking care of.

    Reply
  5. Miriam
    March 2, 2014 at 5:19 am (2 years ago)

    Best story on a blog post EVER. The coconut cream pie bars look heavenly and will be made, but coming in 2nd place to that story :) Gee, I wonder if the chick who hated reading through all the “stuff” will pin this one? I wonder if she will Google Turtle Penises? Thanks for starting of my Sunday off right!

    Reply
  6. Coco @ Opera Girl Cooks
    March 2, 2014 at 3:37 pm (2 years ago)

    God bless you and your turtle, Julie. I am reading this in a cafe, wishing I were in the privacy of my own home so I could google turtle penises. Dangit.

    Reply
  7. Catpro
    March 2, 2014 at 4:12 pm (2 years ago)

    Best blog story I’ve ever read and I have my favorite dessert – coconut cream pie – to thank once again. Will be following you from now on for future updates, Julie.

    Reply
  8. cheri
    March 3, 2014 at 9:53 am (1 year ago)

    What a sweet story. Love the coconut bars!

    Reply
  9. dina
    March 3, 2014 at 10:30 am (1 year ago)

    it looks delicious!

    Reply
  10. Vickie H.
    March 3, 2014 at 2:37 pm (1 year ago)

    I adore a great rescue story! What a blessing for Squirt that you care so much and have repeatedly taken the necessary steps to provide him with good quality of life! Kudos to you! And I can’t wait to make the Coconut Pie Bars! Look SCRUMPTIOUS!!!

    Reply
  11. Laura Dembowski
    March 3, 2014 at 3:47 pm (1 year ago)

    I think most pets are a lot of work, but worth it because of the joy they give in return. I would be willing to do any amount of work for these bars – they are perfection!

    Reply
  12. Tracy | Peanut Butter and Onion
    March 4, 2014 at 1:48 pm (1 year ago)

    I had no idea they were they much trouble. But like with most pets, they always seem to be worth the trouble, Great cake!

    Reply
  13. Jenny @ BAKE
    March 8, 2014 at 3:03 am (1 year ago)

    Wow that’s a lot of work! it makes having a dog sound easy! This post had me laughing at my screen and reading portions to my boyfriend. And on top of that these coconut bars look incredible!

    Reply
  14. Donna Barstow
    March 12, 2014 at 1:52 am (1 year ago)

    I was looking at dessert blogs to see how big the images are (yours are the biggest!) and had no idea I’d come across a post on turtles with photos of pies!

    I had turtles when I was little (when they were legal), and then bought one myself after college (illegally). They’ve done good research on food now, to keep them alive. And in the LA sun, mine kept growing and growing and growing…I finally gave him to someone who had a backyard pond for him. He was very smart, and now I wonder if I did the right thing…but otherwise I had to keep putting him in the bathtub…and then change the water.

    Reply
  15. Myra
    March 17, 2014 at 6:52 am (1 year ago)

    Hilarious! I loved the pictures of treats interspersed throughout the turtle tale! (seriously going to make those)

    We have a rescue tortoise, and you’re absolutely right- they have HUGE personalities! I never would’ve dreamed our Thor would have such a wide variety of expressions, much less be so lovable!

    But yeah, those vet bills… Yeesh.

    Thanks for the laugh! Turtle Peen: A great way to start the day. 😀

    Reply
  16. Karen
    March 28, 2014 at 5:11 am (1 year ago)

    Could you please tell me how to make half and half we dont have that inAustralia.

    Reply
  17. Linda Slaby
    March 28, 2014 at 10:05 am (1 year ago)

    I came to this site because of the yummy looking Coconut Cream bars…… the next thing I know I’m lost in
    a cute story about a rescue turtle! Thanks so much for a great resipes and wonderful story.
    I can’t wait to try your other resipes because they all look terrific!

    Reply
  18. Kim
    April 3, 2014 at 2:46 pm (1 year ago)

    This is probably a stupid question, but what is icing sugar?

    Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      April 3, 2014 at 2:49 pm (1 year ago)

      Not stupid! Icing sugar is also called powdered sugar, 10X sugar, or confectioners’ sugar.

      Reply
  19. Patricia
    April 5, 2014 at 11:54 am (1 year ago)

    Holy cow! That looks so amazing. Having a little birthday tea on Sunday. Gonna make the coconut cream filling to go inside the coconut cupcakes. Your blog is dangerous!

    Reply
  20. Joanna Flaherty
    April 6, 2014 at 11:44 am (1 year ago)

    Hi…I am a fan of coconut cream anything…but have gluten issues…have you tried making them GF or has anyone else done it and commented ?

    Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      April 6, 2014 at 11:59 am (1 year ago)

      I haven’t tried it, but I think the crust would work with a gluten-free flour mix. If you try, please let us know how it goes!

      Reply
    • Cheryl
      December 13, 2014 at 9:19 pm (9 months ago)

      Gluten-Free Pastry (food processor* method)

      1/2 cup sorghum flour
      1/2 cup potato starch
      1/3 cup tapioca flour
      1/2 teaspoon xanthan gum
      1/2 teaspoon salt
      1/4 teaspoon baking powder
      1 stick (4 ounces) unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes and frozen for 10 minutes
      1 tablespoon lemon juice or cider vinegar
      Ice water to make 1/2 cup

      1 With metal blade in place, add sorghum flour, potato starch, tapioca flour, xanthan gum, salt and baking powder to work bowl of food processor. Turn on for three seconds to combine. Add half the frozen butter and process for 10 seconds or until mixture has the consistency of coarse meal. Add remaining butter and pulse for six 1-second pulses, or until the frozen butter is the size of small peas.

      2 In 1/2-cup measure, combine lemon juice or vinegar and ice water. Pour over all of flour mixture; pulse for six 1-second pulses or just until dough forms large clumps; do not over-process.

      3 Do not refrigerate dough at this point as I do with regular all-butter pie crust. Turn dough out onto lightly floured (gluten-free, of course) surface–a piece of plastic wrap makes it easier. Form dough into a round disk, sprinkle lightly with gluten-free flour–topping it with another piece of plastic wrap makes it easier–and roll out to 12- to 13-inch circle. Transfer to Pyrex pie plate that has been sprayed with cooking spray. Crimp the edge in your favorite way, then pop the pie plate into the freezer while you prepare pie filling.

      Reply
      • Janice
        February 25, 2015 at 9:48 pm (6 months ago)

        Pls send copy OF Gluten Free recipe. TY.

        Reply
  21. RoxanneMarino
    April 10, 2014 at 7:36 pm (1 year ago)

    Julie: Like everyone else went looking for the coconut cream recipe..and found this oh so true story about Squirt the rescue slider. My daughter also rescued a LARGE female slider and gave her me as a birthday gift..
    We have an out door pond/waterfall so she had a beautiful home to live in…until this “handsome” boy walked up the street looking for his “new” soul mate.. My husband said “no way” Tillie is doing just fine all by herself.. But no way..I said , he’ll just get crushed by a car or die from some horrable death…As usual I won this debate and Shelden can to live in our pond with Tillie. One year later..we see Tillie digging a very large hole..It took her over two hours to make it just right, then out popped 15 little eggs. What a great experience. We even took pic’s…6 cluches later, over a two year period we would have 32 baby turtles, in the house in tanks from 5 to 150 gals.
    I laughed so hard about the problems you had with your one turtle, just have 32 babies in various sized tanks, all because I said..Sheldon could enjoy Tillie’s house..We kept the hachlings until they reached 4″ legal size to be sold…or given away.. This process wound up costing lost on money. I just kept wonder if I could neuter Sheldon and that would be the end of that….But having an outdoor pond is not animal proof. One night a family of raccoon’s stopped by, pulled Sheldon out of his nesting house and damaged his beautiful long finger nails and front legs..We had to put him down. He is buried directly across from the pond where 4 of his daughters share a home with there mom. We have reinforced the pond to animal proof it. So Tillie, Millie, Kelly, Shelly and baby girl, all bask in the warmth of the California sun. By the way…we never did get to see the purple thing coming out of his body. But did witness his mating dance, waving those beautiful long nails in front of Tillie’s face…I guess putting her in his trance. What a beautiful time to share this experience…
    Thanks for your story of Squirt…Hope you enjoyed the life and times of the Red Ear slider family. .

    Reply
  22. elizabeth
    April 14, 2014 at 3:32 pm (1 year ago)

    Have you tried topping these bars with coconut whipped cream instead of regular whipped cream? I might try that unless there are recommendations against it, if it might throw off the sweetness factor or something!

    Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      April 14, 2014 at 3:34 pm (1 year ago)

      I would go for it, Elizabeth, maybe just slightly sweetened. It sounds wonderful!

      Reply
  23. Valerie
    April 15, 2014 at 12:59 pm (1 year ago)

    Whats half and half? I would like to make these Cocnut bars

    Reply
      • janis
        January 22, 2015 at 3:47 pm (7 months ago)

        i think years ago half and half cream was also known as cereal cream here in canada

        Reply
        • janis
          January 22, 2015 at 3:58 pm (7 months ago)

          i think years ago half and half cream was also known as cereal cream here in canada,
          looks like a easy good recipe…gonna try it

          Reply
  24. Joy
    April 16, 2014 at 6:58 am (1 year ago)

    When you say coconut milk, do you use kind in can or carton? Tks

    Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      April 16, 2014 at 7:36 am (1 year ago)

      The kind in a can.

      Reply
      • Joy
        April 17, 2014 at 5:38 pm (1 year ago)

        Thank you … And do you shake the can and use all of it or only the solid?

        Reply
        • Julie Ruble
          April 17, 2014 at 5:58 pm (1 year ago)

          Shake and use :)

          Reply
  25. Alina
    April 16, 2014 at 6:51 pm (1 year ago)

    These look amazing! I’m totally making these for Easter. Do you use sweetened or unsweetened coconut flakes?

    Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      April 16, 2014 at 9:21 pm (1 year ago)

      Thanks! Hope you love them, Alina! I used sweetened coconut flakes.

      Reply
  26. Ann
    April 17, 2014 at 2:49 pm (1 year ago)

    Can’t wait to try this!

    Reply
  27. Lark
    April 20, 2014 at 6:38 pm (1 year ago)

    Hello! I found your blog while I was at another site – your lovely photos of your coconut pie bars sucked me right in. And after I clicked on the link, your turtle story did the same. It was funny and seriously touching. Good on you for taking such good care of your friend! The world needs more like you. :-) I am looking forward to trying these delicious looking treats and exploring the rest of your recipes. My coconut loving family is looking forward to it, too!

    Reply
  28. Kathy
    April 25, 2014 at 5:03 pm (1 year ago)

    So you use sweetened or unsweetened coconut milk?

    Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      April 25, 2014 at 5:33 pm (1 year ago)

      Unsweetened

      Reply
  29. Pat
    May 5, 2014 at 11:09 pm (1 year ago)

    What is icing sugar? Do you mean powdered sugar or what? I have never heard of icing sugar. I would love to make this Coconut cream pie bar , it really looks good. I don’t want to mess it up by putting in the wrong sugar.

    Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      May 5, 2014 at 11:37 pm (1 year ago)

      Yes, icing sugar is also called powdered sugar, 10X sugar, and confectioners’ sugar.

      Reply
  30. Patti
    May 10, 2014 at 10:17 pm (1 year ago)

    Have NO idea how a coconut cream pie bar got mixed in with the turtle story, but I just loved the turtle story (haven’t tried the bars yet). I am the crazy woman stopping traffic in the Tampa Bay area to help turtles (and tortoises) get across the street before they are squashed. Love turtles and love your story. Thanks so much for the photo of Squirt ( and for the coconut bar recipe!!).

    Reply
  31. lesley
    May 23, 2014 at 12:02 am (1 year ago)

    Making these tomorrow! Do I use salted or unsalted butter?

    Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      May 23, 2014 at 3:41 am (1 year ago)

      Unsalted. Hope you enjoy!

      Reply
  32. lesley
    May 23, 2014 at 11:25 pm (1 year ago)

    One more question-sorry-do I use sweetened coconut milk thats in a can-like the kind youd make a pineapple/coconut drink with?

    Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      May 24, 2014 at 7:51 am (1 year ago)

      Yep, the canned coconut milk (mine is unsweetened). Usually in the Asian food aisle or with the canned milks (evaporated milk, etc.) on the baking aisle.

      Reply
  33. lesley
    May 24, 2014 at 11:12 pm (1 year ago)

    Thanks! Got it cooling now-added a bit more coconut extract, hopefully not too sweet. Thanks again!

    Reply
  34. Suzanne
    September 15, 2014 at 4:20 pm (12 months ago)

    Do you think you could use the light canned coconut milk? Or only the full fat regular? Can’t wait to make these!

    Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      September 15, 2014 at 4:26 pm (12 months ago)

      I’d only use the full fat just to be sure it will work. Thanks, Suzanne!

      Reply
      • Erin
        April 19, 2015 at 2:48 am (5 months ago)

        I used light coconut milk (only because that’s all they had at Trader Joes) and it worked perfectly!

        Reply
  35. roxanne
    September 22, 2014 at 9:14 pm (11 months ago)

    looks goo

    Reply
  36. Gertrude
    December 4, 2014 at 9:25 am (9 months ago)

    Julie, do you think these squares would freeze? I am thinking maybe not but hoping yes. 😉

    Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      December 4, 2014 at 12:33 pm (9 months ago)

      Hi Gertrude! Unfortunately I feel like they wouldn’t freeze well. Now I’m totally the kind of person who would try it anyway and eat them in whatever state they ended up in, but I’m almost certain they wouldn’t be “like new.” Ha! Usually creamy-type things separate or get weird when frozen.

      Reply
  37. Cindy
    December 16, 2014 at 8:22 pm (9 months ago)

    This is a fantastic recipe and serves many! When I bring it to staff luncheons it always gets raves. Thanks very much for sharing.

    Reply
  38. Shirlee Lamb
    January 20, 2015 at 2:33 pm (7 months ago)

    I do see a print button. How do I print friendly recipe.?

    Reply
  39. alice
    February 3, 2015 at 6:57 pm (7 months ago)

    thanks for the delighttful story about you and your shelled companion! I have two of my own and we’re going on 16 years together!

    Reply
  40. Vivian Fent
    February 3, 2015 at 7:40 pm (7 months ago)

    Could you make this and use meringue instead of the whipped topping?

    Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      February 3, 2015 at 7:46 pm (7 months ago)

      Yes, I think meringue would work fine. Enjoy!

      Reply
  41. Tonya
    February 4, 2015 at 9:13 am (7 months ago)

    icwas sitting at table with my morning coffee looking for a different kind of birthday cake. I love coconut (so does the birthday boy) so I decided to pin it. What a transformation of attitude for me!!! Not only did I find execs toy what I was looking for with the eye watering and mouth salivating pictures but my grumpiness turned into a lift in spirit when I read the story. Thank you for sharing this inspiring and meaningful life experience. By the way, I did Google turtle penis. Thanks again. You made my day.

    Reply
  42. Kindle Arnold
    February 6, 2015 at 7:19 pm (7 months ago)

    I clicked on the link for the recipe (because I absolutely adore coconut cream ANYTHING) but I’m commenting because this is, hands down, THE funniest blog I have EVERYTHING read in my life! I simply could not tear myself away from your turtle and his purple “thing.” Thank you for posting this!

    Reply
    • Kindle Arnold
      February 6, 2015 at 7:22 pm (7 months ago)

      *ever, not everything. Stupid autocorrect.

      Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      February 6, 2015 at 7:35 pm (7 months ago)

      LOL, thank you Kindle! So glad you enjoyed it 😉

      Reply
  43. Sharon Byrn
    February 8, 2015 at 4:37 pm (7 months ago)

    Can someone please tell me what icing sugar is? Is it granulated or powdered or something else? Thanks

    Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      February 8, 2015 at 5:03 pm (7 months ago)

      Hi Sharon! Icing sugar is the same thing as powdered sugar, confectioners’ sugar, 10X sugar. All different names for the same thing. Enjoy!

      Reply
  44. Michelle
    February 10, 2015 at 11:45 am (7 months ago)

    Loved reading this post – too funny! And the bars look amazing! Can’t wait to try them. Thanks for putting a smile on my face this morning. :)

    Reply
  45. George Monaghan
    February 19, 2015 at 3:10 pm (6 months ago)

    Just do yourself, and anyone that’s lucky enough to be around, and make this. Amazeballs.

    Reply
    • George Monaghan
      February 19, 2015 at 3:14 pm (6 months ago)

      Ha! Forgot the Just do yourself “a favor” part. New at this… Still very good!

      Reply
  46. Elizabeth
    February 22, 2015 at 10:06 am (6 months ago)

    These look amazing, I want to make them for my daughter. I was wondering about the gelatin. What flavor do I use? Thx and great turtle story!

    Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      February 22, 2015 at 11:08 am (6 months ago)

      Hi there! It’s unflavored gelatin (I use Knox brand) — not the Jello flavored gelatin. Hope you enjoy!

      Reply
  47. Robyn
    March 21, 2015 at 2:16 pm (5 months ago)

    Mmmm, these bars look fabulous! Loved the story of squirt (and Roxanne’s story too). And yes, just say no to turtles if possible.

    Reply
  48. Shirley Henschel
    March 28, 2015 at 1:21 pm (5 months ago)

    Would like recipe for coconut cream dessert bars. My husbands favorite.

    Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      March 28, 2015 at 1:35 pm (5 months ago)

      Hi Shirley! The recipe is at the bottom of the post above. Let me know if you can’t find it. Enjoy!

      Reply
  49. Twana Blevins
    June 1, 2015 at 12:28 pm (3 months ago)

    I did make the coconut cream bars. My family loved them. We loved them so much I am taking this dessert to a family reunion.

    Reply
  50. SY
    June 28, 2015 at 7:52 pm (2 months ago)

    omg these look amazing, but don’t the eggs cook?

    Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      June 28, 2015 at 10:03 pm (2 months ago)

      They do rise to “safe”/”cooked” temperature for an egg custard, but provided you stir constantly per the instructions, they don’t cook as in hardening in little bits of white/yolk.

      Reply
  51. Jan
    July 1, 2015 at 9:28 pm (2 months ago)

    Do you have to do the sling? What is the purpose?

    Reply
    • Julie Ruble
      July 1, 2015 at 9:32 pm (2 months ago)

      It makes it easy to remove the bars so they will come out nicely. It also aids in pan cleanup. You could probably grease the pan and do without if you didn’t mind how the bars looked, but I’ve never tried. Enjoy!

      Reply
  52. Misty
    July 2, 2015 at 11:03 am (2 months ago)

    Julie, you are hilarious, and I feel your pain!!!! Every time I am sure I am alone in the world with the misery that is the care of my 2 turtles, I am reminded that there are others (or at least one other, you) who are conflicted and in pain. And after all, isn’t that love? I adopted (rescued) my common map from a yard sale in 1997 – I knew whoever took him home would not care for him properly and he’d likely die. I got him a companion (a red eared slider) since I have come to find that turtles can be/often are very social (observe them on logs together, piled on top of each other). The companion was violent and bit my map so him went to a wildlife rehab where they acclimated him for release in an place where they take their rehabbers (they are native here, don’t worry). His current companion has been with us since 2000, a Mississippi Map.

    But in general I absolutely agree with you: don’t buy them, don’t have them. I hate to count what now must be the years of my life, and life savings, in providing for them and cleaning their tank.

    And you are absolutely right about filters: expensive and requiring an IQ of 200 to make them work.

    But you are a saint. At least you just wanted to kill yourself. I made everyone around me want to kill themselves. I am the Cursing Mommy par excellance, especially when I can’t get the filter lid off and when I do it spews filthy water all over me and the rug. Time and again I have sworn that I would find them a new home, and once the water change and filter change is over, I relax and love them again. But I do blame them for me not having a second child. Who would have time?

    Thanks for your post. You made me smile. I’m glad to know there’s at least one other crazy out there. And believe me, it’s a toss up as to which is worse: turtle care or dealing with the insurance company during cancer. Seriously. No joke.

    Reply
  53. Kitty Murphy
    July 13, 2015 at 1:10 pm (2 months ago)

    Can you make in smaller pan. I think it is like 5×9

    Reply

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