I wrote this post as part of the Plugrá Butter Brigade. Thanks, Plugrá, for sponsoring this post and for making my favorite butter!
I think I’ve figured out the problem. You know how everyone always wonders out loud why people are so rude on the internet? And how we speculate that it’s because under the veil of anonymity, folks tend to ditch their filter and say all the rude things they’ve been thinking but are too polite or embarrassed to say in person?
That might be true, but it’s never seemed like a complete explanation to me. Are you trying to tell me that everyone’s really that rude, but they’ve just been shamed quiet? That’s so discouraging. And no one I meet really seems that rude. Everyone seems pretty nice. I think there’s another component to this rudeness equation: the internet doesn’t just permit rudeness. It encourages it in the name of engagement.
I could talk a lot about this slippery slope into unkindness: how I feel like popular, once-respectable news outlets have begun, essentially, trolling their readership and sensationalizing content in order to encourage views; how celebrity gossip sites exploit human beings relentlessly in order to fulfill the our base, voyeuristic desires; how reality television plays a role in (mis)shaping our perception of how interpersonal relationships should operate.
But for now, I just want to focus on this narrow sliver of an observation: companies and organizations want engagement from their audience (on social media and websites) because that increases their visibility and therefore their income. I know this because I am a (teensy, one-person) company and I try to increase my engagement all the time. I encourage people not just to look at my recipes (but thanks for that, too!) but to comment. I ask fun questions on my Willow Bird Baking Facebook page, share tempting photos on Willow Bird Baking’s Twitter page, pin awesome recipes on Pinterest that I hope you’ll like, and share fun times on Instagram.
If you’ll notice, I actually bothered to link to all my social media pages in that paragraph: just another example of how I’m funneling you toward engaging with me. And I mean engage: I want you to tweet, comment, share, like, pin. When you engage, you see my content MUCH more than if you’re just a passive observer. I do this in part because I love interacting with you, but also to reach you more; more people engaged means more people visiting and more income to support my work.
Obviously, I don’t believe that encouraging you to engage is a bad thing or I wouldn’t do it. But I do think it has unintentional consequences. People are constantly being asked to give their unvarnished input online. Clothing companies ask, “Would you wear this dress?” Food magazines ask, “What’s your favorite condiment?” You’re asked to weigh in on celebrities’ outfits and hairstyles — and parenting choices, and marriages, and after-hours activities. Trolls (which studies suggest might actually be people dealing with certain mental illnesses) have a field day egging people on, so comments get indignant and dicey fast. See this article for a hilarious example of how absurd things can become. An Australian radio station posted a funky recipe to — you guessed it — encourage the engagement and interest of their listeners, and boy did it ever do so.
No wonder that even when we’re not asked to engage or give advice, we feel comfortable sharing our nastiest opinions out in the open. No wonder unkindness and kindness both feel like perfectly reasonable methods of engaging; after all, controversy and comment-fights spur MORE engagement! To businesses that prioritize their bottom line (so, most businesses) that’s even better! No wonder when a dear friend’s cookbook was reviewed on a popular food website, strangers commented things like, “That looks like crap,” and, “Not even remotely appealing,” as if it were as natural as breathing.
I think the answer is to make this phenomenon transparent. If you know you’re being encouraged to engage and that it’s inspiring unkindness, you can make some personal rules to govern yourself. My rules are no zaps (no snarky one-liner comments designed to put someone in their place), and to only engage in a positive or neutral way unless it’s productive to disagree (for instance, I’ll challenge a racist statement, but not someone’s cake, for cryin’ out loud.) I use the THINK acronym to evaluate my comments in this way:
* * *
Hopefully this summer pasta won’t inspire any snark! I can’t imagine anyone having anything bad to say about this dish. I love it because if you start with fresh ingredients, you’ll end up with a gorgeous meal. The parsley and basil along with the bite of Parmesan in the buttery sauce create the perfect balance. And nothing says summer like a dinner that’s this easy to toss together. As usual lately, I recommend you find a great outdoor spot to enjoy this recipe!
What do you think? What personal rules govern how you comment online?
One year ago: Gooey Chocolate Coconut Cream Skillet Cake
Two years ago: Sweet Orange Florentines
Three years ago: Itsy Bitsy Berry Cream Pies
Four years ago: Pulled Pork Sandwiches, Creamy Coleslaw, and Summer Bean Salsa
Fresh Summer Pasta with Plugra Ricotta Sauce
Recipe by: Adapted from Chef Kevin Kidd
Yield: 4 servings
Start with super fresh ingredients to create this simple, fresh pasta dish! I love how quick and easy this recipe is.
Ingredients:
28 ounces fresh OR 19 ounces dried tagliatelle or fettucine
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil, divided
1 shallot, finely chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 green onions, sliced diagonally
1/4 cup white wine
2 ounces unsalted Plugrá European-Style Butter, sliced into 1/2-inch slices
8 spears asparagus, sliced into 2-inch chunks
8 ounces whole milk ricotta cheese
1/4 bunch fresh Italian flat-leaf parsley, rough chopped
12 fresh basil leaves, rough chopped
lemon juice, salt, freshly ground pepper, Parmigiana Reggiano as needed
Directions:
Prepare an ice water bath in a medium bowl. Bring a small saucepan of water to a boil over high heat and blanch the asparagus for 2-3 minutes before plunging them into the ice water to stop cooking. Drain the asparagus and set it aside.
Bring a large saucepan of salted water to a rolling boil over high heat and add fresh or dried pasta. Cook 3 minutes (fresh pasta) or according to package directions (dried pasta). Going to Italy made me realize I’d been overcooking my pasta my whole life: al dente means your pasta should have a definite toothiness to it when bitten. Be careful not to overcook! Drain the finished pasta, reserving 1/2 cup of pasta water for the sauce later.
In a large skillet over medium-high heat, heat 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Add shallots and cook for a minute before adding garlic and sautéing for close to a minute or until lightly caramelized but not burnt. Add white wine to deglaze the pan. Whisk in Plugrá butter until it’s melted and blended into the sauce. Add the green onions and asparagus and stir to heat them briefly before reducing the heat to low and adding chunks of ricotta cheese. Salt this to taste — for me, this meant a LOT of salt, because it has to salt all the pasta as well. So don’t be shy.
Add the pasta into the pan (and a little of the pasta water if you need it) and toss it in the sauce over low heat. Add most of the parsley and all of the basil and toss. Drizzle the rest of the olive oil over the top. Now comes the adjusting: taste your pasta and add salt, more olive oil, a healthy grating of Parmigiana Reggiano, freshly ground pepper, a spritz of lemon juice, etc., as needed to balance the flavors. You should end up with a bright, flavorful, fresh tasting pasta.
Meghan @ nestMeg
June 19, 2014 at 3:19 pm (10 years ago)Preach it, Julie! I was so tempted to leave a troll-y comment, but I resisted. This recipe sounds amazing, and I always appreciate how you tell it like it is.
Julie Ruble
June 19, 2014 at 4:09 pm (10 years ago)Thanks girl 🙂
Carol
June 19, 2014 at 3:20 pm (10 years ago)Thanks, Julie. This looks amazing, and perfect for summer.
When I’m commenting on-line, normally I can go by the admonition that if I don’t have something nice to say, say nothing at all. On a rare occasion, I get riled but usually defending someone that has been wronged in some way. I admire your posted self restraint with regards to the snarky comments you sometimes get on your blog and pins. Keep your head held high, shoulders back, and focus forward…..and keep the recipes, photos, and stories flowing.
Julie Ruble
June 19, 2014 at 4:09 pm (10 years ago)Thanks, Carol! 🙂
Allie
June 19, 2014 at 3:46 pm (10 years ago)This is a great, thought-provoking post. As part of my job, I monitor a large organization’s social media and am constantly shocked at how suspicious, argumentative, and mis-informed (but strident about their misconceptions) many of our “friends” are. I personally think of my on-line persona as my “brand.” How do I want the world to see me? How do I want my friends and family, some of whom are impressionable youngsters, to see and understand me? How do I want to be remembered when all that is left of me are little bytes of information floating around the internet? To that end, I don’t post swear words on social media. I hesitate to re-pin anything that could be misconstrued in a negative way. I try to be positive and careful of what I share with the world. This doesn’t mean that I’m boring or have put myself in a box…it just means that I’m thoughtful and aware of my impact and place in the world. I want to leave it better place and if being nice online can help accomplish that goal, then heck, why not?
Julie Ruble
June 19, 2014 at 4:08 pm (10 years ago)Love those thoughts, Allie!!
Lawrence
June 19, 2014 at 3:50 pm (10 years ago)I never try to put anyone down unless I perceive (perhaps wrongly, oops [ hmm…]) they are saying something mean or unfair. Paid a price last time I did that, though the commenter and I came to an amicable understanding. C’est la vie.
Lawrence
June 19, 2014 at 5:56 pm (10 years ago)PS should this post survive “moderation,” I would love to warn you of another sort of online nastiness. There is a very slick (actually, there are 2) phishing email masquerading as sent from PayPal. It is supposedly a “notice of policy updates.” The sender is paypal@support.com. It will say they believe your info to be incomplete or erroneous, and threaten to “limit what you can do” with your account in 3 days.
Sad to say, I fell for it on May 28. It is a long story, but I dealt with it.
Anyhow, you do not have to take my word on this
Forward any such emails to spoof@paypal.com. They will let you know in seconds flat if it is phishing.
Again, do not take my word alone on that–“Google” “paypal phishing,” and you will find that.
If this post, or particularly Julie’s network of contacts saves one person from this, I will be most happy.
PPS There was also an Amazon one from “team AMZ.”
Should you get that one, call Amazon customer service. They also have a similar email wddress to forward suspicious email to. Google it or customer service can give it to you.
Lawyer Loves Lunch
June 19, 2014 at 9:05 pm (10 years ago)Genuine engagement (like what you do!) is lovely! It helps two folks become better acquainted, and in the best scenarios, creates a community (like yours of delicious food lovers). People who are unkind have too much time on their hands! And um, can you send some pasta my way?! It’s dinnertime and it’s looking like we may have to eat Cheetos 🙂
kristy @ the wicked noodle
June 20, 2014 at 9:53 am (10 years ago)I’ve always loved the “THINK” acronym. And I love that you shared it here! Your comment about challenging a racist statement but not someone’s cake is so spot on – I love that, too!!
Okay, just a teeny bit more gushing…I also love this awesome pasta dish. The green just brightens it all up and your table is gorgeous! And don’t even get me started on butter 🙂
Cheers & Happy Friday!
Kimberly
June 20, 2014 at 11:13 am (10 years ago)Think before you speak … so simple, yet not done enough by most! Great post!
Oh, that recipe? DIVINE! I’m not sure I could think of a more perfect dish for this time of the year!
Laura
June 20, 2014 at 1:29 pm (10 years ago)Loved this post! This pasta looks yummy and I think I could add all sorts of vegetables from my CSA box (always looking for ideas).
As for online commenting, I couldn’t agree more. A local paper publishes a food blog of sorts with info about local food related news and a fellow food blogger friend contributes. Oddly, a few months ago she began to get lots of hateful comments on her posts and sometimes comments aimed at her on other’s posts. I have no idea why, but it’s just mean and hurtful. If you don’t like something, leave and look at something else! Or give constructive feedback, but don’t be rude!
Beth @ The First Year
June 20, 2014 at 7:02 pm (10 years ago)Julie, luckily I haven’t experienced any overly nasty comments yet, but they may be to come. Just keep on, you’re doing amazing!
Christi
June 22, 2014 at 6:54 pm (10 years ago)This dish looks amazingly good. I was wondering what the radish side dish in the picture was? Thank you!
Julie Ruble
June 22, 2014 at 9:49 pm (10 years ago)Thanks Christi! The radishes are here: http://willowbirdbaking.com/2014/06/09/radishes-whipped-butter-anchovy-parsley/
Becca @ Amuse Your Bouche
June 30, 2014 at 6:11 pm (10 years ago)This looks BEAUTIFUL! Delish!
Angie
July 26, 2014 at 5:08 pm (10 years ago)I try to live by that THINK rule. I am not perfect. I am good at being kind most of the time EXCEPT when someone starts something with me. I find it very difficult to turn the other cheek and not get snippy. But I’m trying.
Courtney
July 12, 2015 at 9:31 pm (9 years ago)I bookmarked this recipe last year, and I finally got around making it around a month ago when I happened to have all the ingredients on hand (including some asparagus that had been languishing in the fridge for quite a bit). Well, all this time later, I’m STILL thinking about this recipe and how GOOD it was! I don’t know if it was the wine or butter or what, but this was highly superior to any other fresh summer pasta I’ve ever made! It makes me sad that asparagus is gone from the farmer’s markets around here, because I’d love to make it again. Thanks for an amazing recipe!