Caramelized Pineapple Parfaits
Hey friends, a quick reminder that on the internet (just like in real life), YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.
It’s always annoyed me when people chime in on a friend’s cooking video just to proclaim that they hate it or it “looks disgusting.” I know the person who worked hard to create that video and I care about their feelings. But even if I didn’t, it’s not necessary or helpful or kind to bash someone else’s taste.
If you don’t have anything nice to say, please don’t say your hateful stuff anyway and then when someone notes that it’s rude, protest that you have a right to share your opinion just like everyone else. Sure you do. We’re not gonna lock you in prison. We just think you’re a jerk.
And sometimes “yucking someone else’s yum” has a more significant impact. A couple of examples:
Beyoncé just shared the first (regal, gorgeous) photo of her twins, Rumi and Sir Carter, and it was met with a ton of joy. But in the face of Black people being brilliant and lovely, some white people always have to chime in with a reason they aren’t enthralled. And then they insist they aren’t racist, just stating an opinion.
Here’s the thing about this particular instance of saying something when you should have said nothing: not loving the color palette of her photos isn’t racist, but it is racist that you don’t recognize the context you’re throwing that opinion into — that you don’t recognize the Black cultural references you’re calling tacky, that you don’t realize how Black motherhood is portrayed, that it doesn’t occur to you that you could be missing anything at all.
Making this extra fun is that (while each no doubt feels their opinion is very special and unique), there are tons of these white people who “aren’t racist” but just “don’t understand why Beyoncé is such a big deal” or feels “she’s so arrogant.” So much immediate, emphatic, malignant rain on the parade.
A similar phenomenon occurred when we learned that the next Doctor Who will be a woman (played by Jodie Whittaker). Folks had to chime in to announce they weren’t happy with the choice — not because they’re sexist of course, but because [insert all of the tedious explanations here].
Again, there’s that saying something when you should have said nothing. And the fact that you really loved David Tennant isn’t sexist, but throwing your opinion into a space where little girls reacted with unadulterated glee, where you don’t seem to realize that there is no neutral, and where you haven’t noticed that representation matters — that’s sexist. And again, there are tons of you. Tons of fervent backlash about a tiny bone we’ve been thrown, before we’ve even had a chance to catch it.
The good news? The solution is simple. We’ve talked about it so many times here before: just THINK before you speak, even online! Even in Facebook comments! Even when you don’t know anyone replying to the thread! Even when you’re Facebooking all alone in your den eating cheetos and having a hard time imagining other humans really exist!
Ask yourself: is it true? helpful? inspiring? necessary? kind? And if it’s none of those things and it’s just your opinion, wherein you happen to be purposely raining on someone’s parade? Just remember: YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.
Where on the internet have you wanted to share this advice lately?
One year ago: 4-Ingredient Blueberry Cobbler Dump Cake
Two years ago: Coconut Cream Gooey Butter Cake
Three years ago: How to Put Together a Cheese Plate (and Other Summer Picnic Recipes)
Four years ago: Gooey Chocolate Coconut Cream Skillet Cake
Five years ago: Gooey Chocolate Skillet Cake Ice Cream Sundae
Six years ago: (Freshly Picked!) Strawberry Cream Pie
Seven years ago: Peach Cobbler Cupcakes
- 4 pounds pineapple, chopped into 1-inch pieces
- 1/2 cup butter
- 1 cup brown sugar
- 2 cups heavy cream
- 1/2 cup powdered sugar
- 1/4 teaspoon coconut extract
- pound cake, cubed (I used store-bought this time, but here's my favorite from-scratch recipe!)
- Caramelize the pineapple on the stovetop or in the oven. STOVETOP: Melt the butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the sugar and cook, stirring, for 1 minute (the butter and sugar will remain separated). Add the pineapple and cook, tossing periodically, until the juice has mostly evaporated and the pineapple is nicely caramelized, about 35-40 minutes. OVEN: Preheat the oven to 300 degrees F. Place the chopped pineapple in a baking dish, melt the butter in the microwave, and pour the melted butter evenly over the pineapple. Crumble the brown sugar evenly over the pineapple. Bake for around 2 hours, tossing every 20-25 minutes, until caramelized and delicious. Cool completely.
- Whip the cream: Beat heavy cream, powdered sugar, and coconut extract together to stiff peaks.
- Assemble the parfaits: Place a layer of pound cake cubes into the bottom of each glass. Top with caramelized pineapple and whipped cream. Repeat layers until each glass is full. Serve!
Kristen
July 17, 2017 at 7:53 am (7 years ago)I really think there now needs to be a class for internet manners. I have too often fallen victim to people hiding behind the screen to criticize my weight (from a disease I have)
PS–love these parfaits.
Julie Ruble
July 18, 2017 at 1:44 am (7 years ago)I would take that class and love it!! I hate concern trolling (for instance, about weight) SO MUCH. Love to you, Kristen.
Anna
July 17, 2017 at 8:30 am (7 years ago)Absolutely! To everything and a parfait.
Julie Ruble
July 18, 2017 at 1:46 am (7 years ago)Thanks Anna <3
nona
July 17, 2017 at 9:30 am (7 years ago)BRAVO!! I am shouting my agreement with you and that those parfaits look like a wonderful summer treat! Thank you!!
Julie Ruble
July 18, 2017 at 1:45 am (7 years ago)Thanks so much, Nona!
Renee
July 17, 2017 at 11:07 am (7 years ago)Thank you! It’s time someone finally spoke up on the poor behavior of so many! I totally agree that if you don’t have anything nice to say, just don’t say anything at all. Now, please pass me a pineapple parfait!
Julie Ruble
July 18, 2017 at 1:45 am (7 years ago)Cheers, Renee! And thank you!
Emily R
July 17, 2017 at 11:13 am (7 years ago)I love-love-love your posts, all of them, but especially this one. A-freaking-men.
Julie Ruble
July 18, 2017 at 1:45 am (7 years ago)Aw, thanks so much, Emily!
Anton
July 17, 2017 at 2:26 pm (7 years ago)I love pineapple everything, so I definitely have to make this. I might add a bunch of cherries, because I have a bazillion of them in the fridge right now.
SO often do I find myself writing out a comment, and then erasing it. I like to give myself a good thirty seconds to evaluate it. I erase a lot. Everyone has knee jerk reactions, but it is totally possible to just brake check yourself.
For me, so often, I wish people would just hold their horses about stuff like a woman Dr Who, Wonder Woman, LGBTQ+ characters in anything, etc. It’s so painfully clear how much representation means to people who don’t get to see themselves in everything.
Julie Ruble
July 18, 2017 at 1:45 am (7 years ago)So so true, Anton. I love that 30-second rule. SO often I find myself erasing comments I think better of, too. A great tip!
Shanna
July 17, 2017 at 2:32 pm (7 years ago)I am only jealous of Beyonce in the photo of her with her newborn twins because I wasn’t even remotely close to looking that amazing after having just one baby and she had two!! She is on her her own level of stunningly gorgeous. And speaking of stunningly gorgeous – this parfait!! I need it in my life soon. You know I love it when you make anything with caramelized pineapple.
Julie Ruble
July 18, 2017 at 1:44 am (7 years ago)We’re all jealous of Beyoncé. No shame! Also, caramelized pineapple fans for life.
Catherine
July 18, 2017 at 12:52 am (7 years ago)Thank you, Julie, for a wonderful and timely post. I actually think that these parfaits look amazing, and can’t wait to make them for myself.
I must say that I DO have a bit of a problem with the advertising on your blog. What I have seen so far is either Walmart or some Big Pharma company flogging something called “Synthroid”.
In the interest of “not saying anything bad” I will congratulate you on attracting such lucrative advertisers. Good job with that PR and Marketing.
As a ‘real person’, however, I find it demoralizing, demeaning, and insulting to have a scripted ad appear every time I move my mouse on your blog.
Not all women need a thyroid supplement. And we are surely bombarded every day with more advertisements than any sane person should endure. So it is with sadness that I must unsubscribe.
I hope you will see your way fit someday to offer your insights and recipes to us without the obnoxious ads.
Julie Ruble
July 18, 2017 at 1:37 am (7 years ago)Hi Catherine,
The message of this post is certainly not “don’t say anything bad” or raise concerns — I hope that was clear since I raised several concerns in the last few paragraphs.
Some notes about advertising: the ads on my blog are served through my advertising network, Mediavine. I don’t choose them — indeed, even Mediavine doesn’t choose which ones show up. Ads are targeted to you based on information gathered about you via your web browsing habits (the internet knows a lot about you: it knows your age, income, education level, interests, and other things based on how you browse). If you don’t want targeted advertising, you’ll need to do more than unsubscribe from my blog, which doesn’t have anything to do with this. A quick Google search about how to avoid targeted ads should help you with this. If you want to avoid ads all together, there are ad blockers, though I don’t use them for reasons that will become clear.
Your wish that I “see fit to offer insights and recipes without the obnoxious ads” is pretty oblivious to my livelihood as a content creator: the ads on this blog are literally my family’s ONLY income at the moment. I work for hours on recipe development, baking, food styling, photography, writing, and social media support to bring you these recipes and insights for free. You don’t pay me a cent for them. What does pay me — again, my family’s only income at the moment — are those ads you can take 2 seconds to scroll past if you aren’t interested. I’ve taken great care to opt out of ads like pop-overs that would hurt the reader experience even though this costs me money, but I won’t take food out of the mouths of my family to opt out of ads all together.
As you can see, I won’t be getting rid of ads anytime soon. And I’m beyond thankful for the readers every day who enjoy my blog for free so that my family and I can pay rent and buy groceries.
Thanks,
Julie
Teri Giese
July 18, 2017 at 3:19 am (7 years ago)You are just such a doll!I am only on Pinterest,and since I follow so many gazillion of super talented,intelligent,hard working,diligent,kind,and the most respected people I have never met.LOL!I have had much positivity there.Began 18 months ago,and am close to 11,500 followers.My 19 year old is astounded.Anyway,as a 56 year old,Caucasian,petite female;I have seen and experienced all variations of poor adult behavior.Am a very happy person,and believe myself to have the gift of gab and humor.That which I spread whenever I venture out of the house,or gab online.Words hurt and can not be taken back.If we could all just be kind and supportive of each other.Is a tough world and life has dealt all of us some blows.We are out of practice,or maybe never developed IP communication skills.See the good in all things.So much good to BE seen!????????
Julie Ruble
July 18, 2017 at 3:22 am (7 years ago)Thanks for your kind words, Teri! I can tell you spread joy ❤️ Glad you’re here!
Leslie Cameron
July 18, 2017 at 8:17 am (7 years ago)Julie, a loud AMEN to the notion that not all that is thought is worthy of print/words/comment. Unfortunately, we now live in a greatly self-centered society where everyone feels entitled to express their personal opinion to the WHOLE WORLD via the web. No consideration of others cultural background, feelings or situation, no thought that WORDS do HURT & HARM. Bless you for taking the time to remind everyone to be considerate, caring, and kind. You are a dear soul and a breathe for fresh air. Have a GREAT day and keep up the great work. It’s sooo much more than recipes. And yes, I do love those recipes. All the way back to the skillet cake days…Ha! ~Leslie
Vickie H.
July 18, 2017 at 9:26 am (7 years ago)Julie, you are such an amazing blessing! This is so spot on and NECESSARY!!! What so many people forget is that we all need to co-exist peacefully in this world! Personally, I have NEVER regretted KINDNESS……but anytime I act up and show my rear-end in a situation I AM ALWAYS SORRY AFTERWARD. Most folks don’t give a rat’s patootie about our opinions anyway……so let’s look for the good in each situation and if we can’t seem to find it, ZIP IT! Oh, and great recipe!!!
Barbara
July 20, 2017 at 11:11 am (7 years ago)Where on the internet have you wanted to share this advice lately?
Where have I not?
Julie Ruble
July 20, 2017 at 4:13 pm (7 years ago)Ha! So true, Barbara.