Willow Bird Baking - Page 77 of 127 - lessons in life & kitchen confidence

Canned Soup

After finishing Willow Bird Baking’s Cooking Hard Stuff Challenge, I’m sort of tired. I kind of just want to sit and watch some TV. So I’m starting a new series called Cooking From Cans. First up is some delicious canned soup.

My love of canned soup started when I was a 5th grader and my mom taught me how to use the can opener so I could start making my own dinner. I think she was tired of making grilled cheeses every night. She didn’t trust me with the stove and I could finally reach the microwave mounted on the wall, so soup it was!

I didn’t mind — in fact, I loved the stuff! I usually start with Chicken and Rice soup and, if I’m still hungry, eat a little Minestrone. Eventually I realized you could even buy soup that you didn’t need to add any water to — one less step! Dessert is usually a few sprays of whipped cream from the can.

So after all that Cooking Hard Stuff, I present to you a little relaxation: pop the top and enjoy a can.

Canned Soup

Recipe by: the soup company.
Yield: 1 bowl of soup

It’s quick, it’s easy, it’s a can of soup! I eat these for dinner all the time after a busy workday. Look for cans with an easy pop top for maximum convenience — can openers hurt your fingers. Unless you have one of those fancy electronic ones, in which case, knock yourself out.

Ingredients:
1 can of soup (preferably one that doesn’t require adding water)

Directions:
Pour the soup into a bowl and heat it up for however long the can says. You can cover it with a paper towel if you’re worried about splatters, but I usually don’t worry about it. My roommate cleans the microwave every now and then.

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April 1, 2012 by Julie Ruble | 7 Comments

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Savory Sweet Potato & Chorizo “Cinnamon Rolls” (and a giveaway)

In light of Willow Bird Baking’s Cooking Hard Stuff Challenge, I’ve been sharing some tips for tackling new or challenging recipes throughout the month of March.

Cooking Hard Stuff Tip #4: Try, try, try again — or share your success.

Listen, we’ve tried not to dwell on this, but sometimes Cooking Hard Stuff is going to lead to a culinary disaster. When your pie crust is stuck everywhere in your kitchen except the pie plate, your cake falls over, or your dog is snarfing down the loaf of bread you just dropped, you’re going to want to throw in the dishtowel (and throw several other things).

It’s okay to quit every now and then. Eat a microwave burrito and lick your wounds while watching Kitchen Nightmares. Cry a little. Write a mournful poem.

But I strongly recommend that most of the time, you do something counter-intuitive: get back in the kitchen (soon) and try again. When you let “failures” fester, they become discouragement and insecurity. You’ll start telling people you’re “bad at making pie crust” or “not a good cook” — things people regularly confess to me. You may stop trying to Cook Hard Stuff altogether.

Almost every time I’ve made myself try again after tossing a recipe flop in the trash, I’ve succeeded the second time around (full disclosure: except with meringue — I’m waiting for a good dry weekend to give that one a third try). Sometimes I give myself a breather and wait until the next day or weekend to avoid frustration — and I always do a little more googling and reading — but when I finally succeed, it’s worth the time and effort. In addition to learning what I did wrong, repeating the steps of the process make them second nature to me. Thus, paradoxically, I’m even more likely to feel comfortable with the recipe once I’m finished than if I’d succeeded the first time around. How about that!

So when you’re not happy with your product, be strong. Make sure your experience ends on a successful note by getting back in the kitchen.

Thankfully, Cooking Hard Stuff doesn’t always (or even most of the time) end in a complete failure.Usually you’re going to accomplish at least a measure of success. Even wonky brownies taste excellent.

My first real payoff whenever I Cook Hard Stuff comes when I’ve finished a dish I’m proud of, taken photos of it, and get to write about it here on Willow Bird Baking. The pinnacle, though, is when Mike takes a bite of a dessert and loves it. It’s no fun on weekends when he’s not here, but I end up freezing things for him quite often!

Sharing your culinary achievements is the reward for Cooking Hard Stuff that will build your confidence and encourage you to continue challenging yourself. Others’ enjoyment is one of the primary ways we judge our kitchen accomplishments.

For this reason, I think you should find folks to eat your food. If you can’t feed all of it to your family, take it into your coworkers, walk it over to a neighbor’s house, or donate it to a bake sale or shelter. Do something so that you know your hard work is making someone else’s day — it’ll make your day too. You can also share your accomplishments online, of course, on a food blog or journal. In fact, I can’t wait to share all of your Cooking Hard Stuff accomplishments on Willow Bird Baking in just a couple of days!

These savory cinnamon rolls are definitely one of my successes I’m excited to share with you. I wanted to make something imaginative, delicious, and easy for my last entry in the No More ‘Mallows contest. I started with a traditional cinnamon roll recipe that uses my grandma’s lovely Angel Biscuit dough. Instead of a dessert filling of cinnamon and sugar, these cinnamon rolls are filled with sweet potato puree seasoned with chili powder, cumin, and cinnamon. Along with the puree, they’re stuffed with chorizo, queso fresco, and a touch of jalapeno for heat. The hearty buns served with a “glaze” of salsa or sour cream would make the perfect dinner or snack. The best part is that you get to serve people savory cinnamon rolls, y’all. That’s just too fun.

Speaking of celebrating culinary successes, I have an even bigger one to celebrate with you! It’s not mine, but that of my friend Lauren over at Keep It Sweet Desserts. Keep It Sweet Desserts is a mail-order desserts company and a brand new endeavor for Lauren. She’s always posting delicious treats on her blog, so I eagerly agreed to review some of the very first desserts she sent out.

From Keep It Sweet Desserts.

I tried a salted caramel butter bar, a milk chocolate almond toffee cookie sandwich with peanut butter buttercream, and a chocolate chip cookie sandwich with mocha ganache buttercream. They were all just as fantastic as I knew they would be, but the mocha ganache smooshed between two soft chocolate chip cookies was my favorite. I feel pleased as a plum to wholeheartedly recommend Keep It Sweet Desserts for anytime you want someone else to Cook the Hard Stuff for you. In fact, if you use the code “WillowBirdBaking” anytime before June 30, 2012, you can enjoy 10% off your dessert order.

And just to spread the love, let’s do a giveaway, too! Go visit Keep It Sweet Desserts and leave a comment below with which cookie or bar you’d like to win. I’ll randomly choose a winner next Saturday, April 7 to win a dozen of their choice.

Savory Sweet Potato & Chorizo “Cinnamon Rolls”

Recipe by: Willow Bird Baking
Yield: 24 rolls

These savory sweet potato “cinnamon” rolls are adorable and delicious. They’re soft, buttery yeast rolls wrapped around sweet potato puree seasoned with cinnamon, chili powder, and cumin. The rolls also pack a healthy dose of chorizo, queso fresco, and jalapeno. If you’re afraid of yeast, don’t be! This recipe is super easy; you just mix and stick it in the fridge overnight to rise before shaping your rolls.

Roll Ingredients:
1 package (2 1/4 teaspoons) active dry yeast
1/4 cup warm water (100-110 degrees F)
2 tablespoons white vinegar
2 cups milk minus 2 tablespoons, room temperature
2/3 cup cold shortening (I use butter flavored Crisco)
3 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
5 cups flour

Filling Ingredients:
3 pounds of sweet potatoes
4 tablespoons butter
2 1/2 teaspoons chili powder
1 1/4 teaspoon cumin
1 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
salt and pepper to taste
16 ounces chorizo, browned and drained
6-8 ounces queso fresco
minced, seeded jalapeno to taste (I used about 1 teaspoon)
2 tablespoons melted butter for after baking

Directions:
Note: I don’t recommend halving yeast recipes; instead, if you don’t want 24 rolls at once, consider freezing some for later. To freeze some of the unbaked rolls, just wrap them well before the second rise and freeze them. Once frozen, pop them out of the pan all together and store in the freezer, wrapped in plastic wrap and in a zip top bag or wrapped in foil. When you want to bake them, stick them back in a greased pan, thaw them in the fridge overnight, proof for the instructed amount of time, and bake like usual.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Poke each sweet potato several times with a fork and bake them on the oven rack (with a baking sheet on the rack below to catch any oozing) for 1 hour or until a knife will slice them easily. Scoop the flesh out into a food processor and add butter, chili powder, cumin, and cinnamon (you can adjust these spices to taste after beginning with the amounts that I used, above). Process until smooth and salt and pepper to taste.

While the potatoes bake, mix the warm water and yeast in a medium bowl and let the yeast foam for about 10 minutes. Put 2 tablespoons white vinegar in a measuring cup and then add milk up to the 2 cup line. Set this aside. In a separate large bowl (or the bowl of a mixer fitted with a dough hook), whisk together flour, sugar, salt, baking soda, and baking powder and cut the shortening into the mixture with two knives or a pastry cutter until the shortening looks like small peas. Stir yeast mixture and milk mixture into the dry ingredients and mix well, kneading just a few turns. Transfer the dough to a bowl lightly sprayed with cooking spray, cover tightly with plastic wrap, and store in refrigerator overnight.

The next morning, preheat the oven to 400 degrees F and lightly spray two 9 x 13-inch baking dishes with cooking spray. Turn the chilled dough out onto a floured surface and roll it into a large rectangle about 1/8-inch thick (I carefully cut the dough in half and worked with half at a time to make it more manageable; if you do this, just spread on half of the filling ingredients for each half you roll). Spread sweet potato puree over top evenly. Sprinkle on the browned and drained chorizo, the queso fresco, and the minced jalapeno (wash your hands after handling peppers). Roll the dough up into a spiral and cut it into rolls, placing them close together in your prepared baking dishes (at this point, you could wrap and freeze the rolls for later if you wanted).

Cover the rolls with a clean dish cloth and let them rise in a warm spot until they’ve nearly doubled, about 1 1/2 – 2 hours. Bake them for about 15-20 minutes or until browned on top (if you take them out at just lightly golden brown, they may still be doughy in the center). Brush with 2 tablespoons melted butter and return to the oven for 1 more minute. Let cool slightly and serve warm with cilantro, salsa, sour cream, and/or guacamole.

P.S. This dish will be entered in the North Carolina Sweet Potato Commission‘s No More ‘Mallows Recipe Contest. I love me some sweet tater and marshmallow casserole, but I also love that sweet potatoes pack a lot of savory potential.

See all the Cooking Hard Stuff Tips:
The Cooking Hard Stuff Challenge
Tip #1: Read and visualize the recipe.
Tip #2: Mise en place.
Tip #3: Make a schedule.
Tip #4: Try, try, try again — or share your success

April 1, 2012 by Julie Ruble | 54 Comments

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Sweet Tater & Chorizo Hand Tarts

In light of Willow Bird Baking’s Cooking Hard Stuff Challenge, I’ll be sharing some tips for tackling new or challenging recipes throughout the month of March. If you haven’t signed on for the challenge yet, make sure you read about it and join in the fun — there are still a few days left!

Cooking Hard Stuff Tip #3: Make a schedule.

two sweet tater hand tart options

In college, my personality type changed. According to the Meyers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator, I went from an INFP to an INFJ. That tells you all sorts of things about me (maybe too much), but that little switch from P to J also tells you a lot about Davidson College, where I went to school. Davidson can make a P into a J in one semester flat (and the café can make a good PB&J, too, while we’re throwing letters around.)

P means “perceiving,” which means you make decisions and act while taking in information. P people present themselves as more spontaneous, since they like to continually take in new information and adapt to it. J people are “judging” (not judgmental!), which means they prefer to take in information and make a decision before acting. These people present themselves as more rigid and organized. They might be schedulers, for instance.

Davidson — where there was literally more work than there was time to complete it and get any reasonable amount of sleep — taught me to be a scheduler. Turns out that comes in handy when Cooking Hard Stuff.

Sometimes hard recipes take forever. That’s not a bad thing; besides the fact that time in the kitchen is edifying and therapeutic, the results of these recipes are often worth the extra effort. Croissants and puff pastry take two days to prepare. Yeast bread often has to rise for several hours. Mousses and cheesecakes sometimes have to chill overnight. Good things come to those who can stand to wait.

The problem for me is usually not being patient, but figuring out how and when to wait. For instance, I probably should not start a recipe late at night if it has to chill for three hours before the next step. Nevertheless, countless times I’ve found myself awake in the wee hours of the morning or canceling plans to babysit something in the oven or fridge. My solution to this — and one I wholeheartedly recommend to anyone Cooking Hard Stuff — is to make a list or schedule.

Making an ordered to-do list of prep work allows you to spend less time running around deciding what task to complete next and more time efficiently enjoying each process. If a recipe includes extensive resting, chilling, or baking periods, you can also pencil approximate times you’ll complete each step onto your list. Finally, if a recipe can be broken up over several days (many of the fancy cheesecakes on Willow Bird Baking can be broken up over three days), break down what you’ll be doing on which day so that you can enjoy yourself.

You’re probably going to make fun of me, but since I’m a visual person, I actually draw my schedules out in blocks. Here’s an example. The blocks help me see, relatively, how long each step will take, and when I might have time to walk the dog, jump in the shower, or go get lunch with a friend.

These Sweet Tater & Chorizo Tarts are fortunately simple to make. You could use premade pie dough (or even crescent roll dough for a super easy meal), but it’s also easy to prepare homemade pie dough while roasting your sweet potatoes. You can then mix up the filling while the pie dough chills, cool the filling while you roll the dough out, assemble your tarts, and bake. Draw out a little schedule for yourself (maybe something like this?) and enjoy the process.

And even more, enjoy the product. The natural sweetness of the sweet taters is fantastic with the spicy chorizo and cumin scented black beans. The flaky pastry crust (or buttery crescent roll) around the filling rounds out the flavor and makes each little tart fun to eat. This is one of Mike’s new favorite dinners!

Do you know your Meyers-Briggs personality type? Are you a planner/scheduler, or more of a free spirit?

Sweet Potato & Chorizo Hand Tarts

Recipe by: Willow Bird Baking, inspired in part by Joy the Baker‘s tacos
Yield: about 7-10 tarts, or 12 crescents

This sweet tater and chorizo filling is so scrumptious, I want to incorporate it into every dinner! In this recipe, I stuffed pie pastry and crescent roll dough with it to make plump, cheesy, Tex-Mexy hand tarts. They’re spicy, creamy, flaky, with a touch of natural sweetness from the roasted sweet potatoes. A plate of these with some sour cream, salsa, and cilantro on the side is more than enough for a hearty dinner.

Ingredients:
2 recipes pie pastry (or 1 package refrigerated pie pastry, or 2 cans giant crescent rolls)
1 sweet potatoes, cut into 1/2 inch chunks
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
kosher salt to taste
1/2 (15-ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
1 heaping tablespoon finely chopped onion
about 5 ounces chorizo
2 ounces cream cheese
spritz lime juice
1/8 cup sharp cheddar cheese, plus more for topping

optional garnishes: lime wedges, cilantro, sour cream, salsa, guacamole

Directions:
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Toss sweet potatoes with 2 teaspoons of olive oil, kosher salt, and chili powder. Spread the potatoes on a foil-lined baking sheet and roast until fork-tender, about 20-25 minutes.

While the potatoes roast, place cream cheese and cheddar cheese in a medium bowl. Brown the chorizo in a skillet over medium-high heat until it’s fully cooked through, and then pour it over the cheese mixture. Let it melt the cheeses for a minute or two before mixing well. Without wiping the skillet out, add 1 teaspoon of olive oil to the skillet. Add the onion, garlic, and cumin and toast for about 30 seconds or until fragrant. Add the beans and cook until they’re fully warmed through. Add the bean mixture over top of the cheese and chorizo and mix gently until it’s well combined. When the sweet potatoes are fully cooked, fold them into the mixture. Add a spritz of lime juice and kosher salt to taste.

Prepare a baking sheet with parchment paper or cooking spray. Roll out the pie pastry to about 1/8 inch thick on a lightly floured surface. Cut it into roughly 4 in. x 3 in. rectangles. Spoon a generous portion of the sweet potato mixture onto every other rectangle and then sprinkle some cheddar cheese onto each one. Top these with the unused rectangles and crimp the sides together with a fork. Cut a steam vent in each pastry and place it on the prepared baking sheet. (If using crescent rolls, just unroll them and spoon a heaping helping of the sweet potato mixture into each one before rolling it up. Sprinkle some cheese on top.) Bake the tarts for 12-14 minutes or until golden brown (or bake crescents according to package instructions). Serve warm with lime wedges, cilantro, sour cream, salsa, and/or guacamole.

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March 29, 2012 by Julie Ruble | 34 Comments

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Chocolatey Red Velvet Pull-Apart Bread with Cream Cheese Glaze

“I changed my mind.”

My mom shifted the car into park and turned off the ignition before looking over at me. “What do you mean? You can’t change your mind now; we’re already here.”

I looked out the window at the hair salon and then turned back to my mom. “Can’t I just get a trim, though? I really don’t want short hair. Please.” My 5-year-old voice teetered on the border between whining and shouting.

My mom shook her head. “We already made the appointment and told her what we wanted done. We aren’t spending all this money for just a trim. It’s just hair; it’ll grow back. Come on.”

Before I knew it, I was seated in a pleathery chair in front of a giant mirror, looking at my long blonde locks. Jessica, our hair stylist, sensed my unease. “Let’s just get it over with all at once, okay?” she asked as she tugged it into a ponytail. I could barely nod. A few snips later, my ponytail dropped to the floor with a whisp of finality, and the newly free remnants of my hair fell around my face. They barely reached my ears.

Silent tears began rolling down my cheeks as I calculated how long I’d have to wait to have long hair again.

My hair was really only one facet of my style troubles. In addition to bowl cuts, my mom had a penchant for “hammer pants.” She made many of my outfits by hand, including a hammer-panted onesie (I couldn’t make this up) with candy-pink stripes and gigantic, ceramic ice cream cone buttons. I think it might’ve also had a big lace collar. I posed in it with my bowl cut and a reluctant smile for many a photograph.

Then there was the red-and-denim hammer-panted contraption with the ceramic cow buttons. God bless my mother for sewing clothes for me, seriously, but I considered running away.

At least I was loved? Indeed, my childhood style woes remind me of this quote from food writer Angie Mosier about red velvet cake: “It’s the Dolly Parton of cakes: a little bit tacky, but you love her.”

Incidentally, I think I would’ve rather dressed like Dolly Parton than M.C. Hammer, but that’s neither here nor there.

This red velvet pull-apart bread has all the fun, tacky redness of red velvet with some extra chocolatey goodness thrown in. It began life as a chocolate yeast bread recipe that I modified into a pull-apart loaf. It’s sweet, melty, gooey, and with a cream cheese glaze drizzled over the top, reminiscent of your favorite red velvet desserts. As a plus, there are no hammer pants or bowl cuts in sight.

Tell me about your tackiest fashion choices (or the tackiest fashion “choices” imposed upon you by parents).

Chocolatey Red Velvet Pull-Apart Bread with Cream Cheese Glaze

Recipe by: Willow Bird Baking, adapted from Chocolate Bread by Paula Oland of the Balthazar Bakery
Yield: 2 loaves

Pull-apart loaves are downright addictive. Each layer is crisp on the outside and soft on the inside. This loaf is made from yeast dough with a sweet chocolate flavor, hunks of melty chocolate throughout, and a bright red hue! The cream cheese glaze kicks it right over the top. Schedule out the recipe in advance to allow for the rising/resting times and enjoy!

Bread Starter Ingredients:
1/4 teaspoon active dry yeast
1 cup lukewarm water (100-110 degrees F)
1 cup all-purpose flour, plus 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

Red Velvet Yeast Bread Ingredients:
2 1/2 cups bread flour
1/4 cup cocoa powder
2 tablespoons (1 ounce) red food coloring plus 1 tablespoon water
1/3 cup sugar
2 teaspoons active dry yeast
1 cup minus 3 tablespoons lukewarm water (100-110 degrees F)
1 1/4 teaspoons table salt
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, room temperature
vegetable oil for lightly oiling bowl

Filling Ingredients:
3/8 – 1/2 cup granulated sugar (depending on how sweet you like things)
2 tablespoons semisweet chocolate chips
2 tablespoons bittersweet chocolate chips (I use Ghirardelli’s 60% cacao)
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

Cream Cheese Glaze Ingredients:
2 ounces cream cheese, room temperature
1/2 cup powdered sugar
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, room temperature
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
about 3 tablespoons milk as
mini chocolate chips for sprinkling

Directions:
Note: In recipes that call for hunks of rising/resting time like this one, I like to draw out my schedule with different size boxes representing “hands on” and “hands off” prep time to get a visual feel for how long it will take. If you’re a visual person like me, drawing out your schedule is a great technique to try! Otherwise, a good old fashion list of what you’re doing at what time would also be beneficial.

Make bread starter: Dissolve the yeast in the 100-110 degree water for about 10 minutes. Completely mix in the flour. Cover the bowl loosely and leave it at room temperature to proof for around 6 hours.

Make red velvet yeast bread: Mix the cocoa powder, red food coloring, and 1 tablespoon water into a paste in a small bowl. In a medium bowl, mix together the paste, flour, 1/3 cup sugar, yeast, water, and 1/4 cup of your bread starter (save the rest to use for other recipes). Let this mixture rest for 15 minutes.

Knead in the salt and butter and then knead for about 10 minutes by hand or about 4 minutes on a mixer fitted with a dough hook, or until smooth and elastic. Scoop dough out into a lightly oiled bowl and cover it with a dish cloth. Let it rise until doubled in size, about 1 1/2 hours. Leave the dough in the bowl at this point but fold it in thirds like you’d fold a letter. Recover it and let it rest for 30 more minutes.

Shape and bake pull-apart bread: Prepare two 7″x 3″ x2″ loaf pans by greasing them (I use Wilton’s Cake Release, but you could also butter and flour them). Flour a large work surface. Use a dough scraper or sharp knife to help you cut your dough into halves. Turn out half of the dough onto your floured surface, keeping the other half covered.

Roll your dough out to a 15 inch long and 12 inch wide rectangle, lifting corners periodically to make sure it’s not sticking. If it seems to be snapping back, cover it with your damp towel and let it rest for 5 minutes before continuing.

Spread the melted butter over the surface of the dough with a pastry brush and then sprinkle the sugar and chocolate chips over the top, patting them down to ensure they mostly stick. Some will inevitably fall out as you do the following steps — just stuff ’em back in and don’t worry too much about perfection.

With the long edge of the rectangle toward you, cut it into 6 strips (do this by cutting the rectangle in half, then cutting each half into equal thirds. I used a pizza cutter). Stack these strips on top of one another and cut the resulting stack into 6 even portions (again, cut it in half, and then cut the halves into equal thirds). Place these portions one at a time into your greased loaf pan, pressing them up against each other to fit them all in. Cover the pan with your damp cloth and place it in a warm place for 45 minutes to an hour to double in size. Repeat the rolling and cutting process with the second half of dough.

While the dough rises, preheat oven to 350 degrees F (or 325 if you have a glass loaf dish instead of a metal pan). When it’s risen, place the loaf in the center of the oven and bake for 30-35 minutes until dark on top (if you take it out at light brown, it’s liable to be raw in the middle, so let it get good and dark). Cool until just warm on a cooling rack in the loaf pan while you make the glaze.

Make the cream cheese glaze: Beat the cream cheese until fluffy, and then add sugar and vanilla. Add the milk to thin it to drizzling consistency. Drizzle some of the glaze over the slightly warm bread (save the rest for drizzling over individual slices) and sprinkle it with mini chocolate chips. Serve immediately.

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March 26, 2012 by Julie Ruble | 61 Comments

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Chocolate & Pretzel Cereal Treats

Dear Mrs. Harolds,

I may have been in 3rd grade with a fledgling worldview and a tiny stature, but if there was one thing I understood, it was justice.

Justice (and, incidentally, righteous indignation) were bred into every last molecule in my stubborn, pint-sized being. Thus, even though children often unwittingly grant adults unbridled authority and unquestioning amnesty, I knew on that gray day in the middle of November that you were being unfair.

There was precedent for said unfairness. I had a nervous habit (and still do, actually) of picking at my lips, which were always dry for some reason. One day you walked by and roughly pushed my arm down while I was standing in line, and I remember the shock of the physical correction. In the confusing moments that followed, I tried to evaluate whether or not that was an appropriate action for a teacher to take. I finally decided that it most certainly was not.

There was also that time when Logan stole my troll doll pencil. He’d been eying it all day while Chris and I used it to produce elaborate troll doll plays. When it went missing, I confronted him and, while he looked decidedly uneasy, he denied any knowledge of its whereabouts. When I informed you of this, fully trusting that you would remedy the situation because that’s what adults are supposed to do, you shrugged. “If he says he doesn’t have it,” you said, “there’s nothing I can do about it.”

My tiny heart burned with indignation. There was sure something I could do about it if you wouldn’t intervene! I marched right over and yanked Logan’s bookbag open before he even had a chance to protest. There, looking happily up at me from on top of a social studies book, was my troll doll pencil. I grabbed it and stalked away as you watched in surprise.

But this was a wholly different situation. This time, you were implicitly criticizing my dad. Perhaps you didn’t know this about me, but that’s one of the last things you want to do in my presence.

It all started with that chocolate rice cereal treat. It was snack time at school, so I pulled the treat from my bookbag and began to tear open the foil wrapper around it. I’d been bringing the cereal treats for my snack ever since my tapioca pudding cups had, without warning, become inexplicably gross to me. But for some reason on this day, my cereal treat was like a magnet for your keen eyes. You strode over to me before I’d even taken a bite.

“You can’t eat that for snack time. Snack time is for healthy snacks.” I looked around at others’ crackers and chips, confused as to why my snack alone warranted this criticism (indeed, if I’d known what I know now, I’d have retorted that crackers are about as worthless for you and a lot less fun).

“Well, this is what my dad bought for me for snack time,” I responded, unsure of how to proceed.

“You can’t eat them. Don’t bring them anymore.” I thought of the box of cereal treats sitting at home designated for my snack time. I thought of my parents’ slim budget. I thought of how hard they both worked to provide for our huge family. You didn’t know it, Mrs. Harolds, but you’d just planted the seed of a lifelong grudge.

I didn’t throw the cereal treat at you or throw a crying fit, although my 3rd grade brain probably considered both of those options. Instead, I mourned about it all day and, with considerable angst, revealed to my parents that night that I couldn’t bring cereal treats anymore. Lest you feel victorious about that fact, however, I’d like to remind you that I’m sitting here 20 years later writing a vindictive description of you for the amusement of the general public. For good measure, I may even tell folks about your nose hairs and the time you threw whiteboard markers at us.

Not only that, but I’m doing all of this in a post that shares a recipe for some indulgent, sugary, chocolatey, salty-and-sweet cereal treats. Some particularly marshmallowy ones, even.

I don’t know, but I’d say I had the last laugh.

Sincerely,
Julie

P.S. Or, I don’t know, maybe the fact that I’m still annoyed at you 20 years later does mean you win. Grr.

And another P.S. to my readers: Have you ever had an unfair teacher? Here’s your space to vent! Unless you’re one of my students, in which case, go do your homework.

Chocolate & Pretzel Cereal Treats

Recipe by: Willow Bird Baking, adapted from Kellogg’s
Yield: about 12 bars

These are cereal treats on steroids! You can mix any kind of cereal you like, but here I’ve chosen to combine chocolate and plain rice cereals. The addition of salty pretzels and gooey chocolate chips make these treats indulgent and delicious. As a bonus, they’re super easy to make!

Ingredients:
1/4 cup butter
4 cups miniature marshmallows or 1 package (10 ounces) large marshmallows
2 cups chocolate rice cereal
2 cups plain rice cereal
2 cups pretzel wheels (broken into pieces, but not pulverized), plus whole pretzels for topping
3/4 cup semisweet or milk chocolate chips

Directions:
Spray a 13 x 9-inch pan with cooking spray and set it aside. Melt the butter in a large saucepan over low heat. Stir in the marshmallows (I use a spatula coated with cooking spray) until they’re completely melted and remove the pan from the heat.

Add the cereal, pretzel pieces, and chocolate chips and stir until they’re thoroughly coated. Pour the mixture out into your prepared pan. Use a sheet of wax paper to press the mixture into an even layer in your pan. Quickly press whole pretzels in rows all along the surface of the bars.

Let the treats cool completely (and maybe even drizzle some melted chocolate over them!) and then cut into squares to serve. The treats can be stored in an airtight container at room temperature for two days, or can be frozen (separated by wax paper) for up to 6 weeks.