If you’re feeling bad, gather a roomful of 7th graders and pass out the Fruit Roll-Ups that have press-on tongue tattoos. In case you ever wondered: 7th graders are totally not too old for a good tongue tattoo.
These kids are so sweet and fun. I hope they’re just as sweet when they’re protected by a computer screen, shrouded in anonymity.
This comment stopped me in my tracks today on an online entertainment website: “Her voice sounds like screaming — it’s so annoying! I’ve never liked her! And she still looks like that even while working out twice a day?”
I had been scrolling through the comments of an article about a singer who just two years ago had tried to take her own life. She was now feeling happy, healthy, and back on track. In the article, the singer lit up about her kids, pilates, and other things that replenished her joie de vivre. It was a celebration. I was enjoying the sweet well wishes from her fans.
And then, like a punch to the gut: screaming . . . annoying . . . never liked her . . .
Listen, I don’t care what opinions you hold (unless they’re truly unacceptable: racism, sexism, a penchant for arson. You know.) You can like what singers you like. Detest each and every note of the singers you don’t like. That’s your business.
But stop being mean on the internet. No, really. STOP BEING MEAN ON THE INTERNET.
Remind yourself to THINK: Ask yourself, “Is it True, is it Helpful, does it Inspire, is it Necessary, is it Kind?” Sometimes we do have to say the hard stuff to help our friends, to stand up for what’s right. But that hateful comment that picked at everything from the singer’s voice to her weight was far from necessary. It was at best disrespectful and at worst, possibly destructive.
I know you’ll say: “Just don’t ever read the comments!” That’s my rule, too, but I break it far too often and always regret it. In fact, I can’t wait until online media outlets realize they shouldn’t include comment sections at all — that format inspires so much nastiness. Maybe comment sections provide an outlet for all the hateful, evil feelings we keep under wraps during our polite daily lives. The problem is that we don’t need to feed that part of ourselves, and doing so by venting on the internet is not without consequences.
Kim Kardashian might never see you talking about how you think that dress looks on her, but what do you gain by snarking about it?
And more importantly, what do you lose? What do the people that see your comment lose? Do they lose heart about what people think and won’t say to their face? Do they lose hope that people are really kind and good at heart? Do they lose confidence as they wonder what a stranger would say about how their own outfit looks today?
I always say that you can send positivity or negativity out into the world. Either way, you’re altering the balance. Maybe just the slightest bit — the weight of one snide remark in a comment section — but it counts. I know I’m not perfect, but I try. And I think it’s time for all of us to try a little harder. Will you?
* * *
And now a little online positivity for us all: stuffed mushrooms! I love the fluffy ricotta and rich tomato sauce layered into traditional lasagna, but don’t always need the carb count from the noodles. These stuffed mushrooms are filling, hearty, and delicious. Double the recipe for a quick and easy dinner.
What’s your “policy” for yourself about how you behave and chat online?
One year ago: Brownie-Bottom Coconut Chocolate Cream Cake
Two years ago: Banana Coconut Cream Easter Cupcakes
Three years ago: Coconut Cream Tart
Lasagna Stuffed Portobello Mushrooms
Recipe by: Willow Bird Baking
Yield: 2 servings
Lasagna, stuffed into mushrooms. Simply fantastic.
Ingredients:
2 large portobello mushroom caps
3 tablespoons olive oil
kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
1/2 link hot Italian sausage
6 tablespoons tomato pasta sauce*
3/4 cup whole milk ricotta cheese
1/2 egg (lightly beat it, then discard half)
1 tablespoon fresh chopped basil
1/2 teaspoon fresh chopped rosemary
2 cloves roasted garlic**, smashed
freshly grated mozzarella and pecorino romano cheese, to taste
**I bought mine from the specialty grocer, but you can roast a head yourself using this guide — you won’t believe the sweet, mild flavor. You can use raw, but use less, because raw garlic is much hotter, spicier, and obnoxious. Not that there’s anything wrong with that!
*I just used a jarred brand I love.
Directions:
Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F. Clean the mushroom caps by brushing gently with a wet brush. Remove the stems from mushrooms and gently remove gills with a spoon. Brush each mushroom with a tablespoon of olive oil and sprinkle with a pinch of kosher salt and a grind of pepper. Roast for 15-20 minutes (depending on the size of the mushroom) or until they are nicely roasted but still holding their general shape.
While the mushrooms roast, heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil over medium-high heat in a medium skillet. Remove the casing of the Italian sausage with a sharp knife and cook the crumbles until browned. Place the sausage on a paper towel lined plate to drain.
Let the mushrooms cool until they can be handled. Drain any excess moisture from the caps. In a small bowl, mix the ricotta cheese, half a lightly beaten egg, basil, rosemary, 1/4 teaspoon of kosher salt, and a grind or two of pepper. Spoon 1-2 tablespoons of pasta sauce into each mushroom cap and top with a smashed garlic clove and a generous heap of the ricotta mixture. Press half of the Italian sausage into the ricotta mixture on each mushroom and top with another tablespoon or two of pasta sauce, a generous sprinkle of Mozzarella cheese, and another small grind of pepper. Place the mushrooms back into the oven until the ricotta mixture is set and the cheese is melted and bubbly, about 10 minutes. Serve immediately.
Winnie
April 22, 2013 at 10:16 pm (12 years ago)Julie,
This recipe looks delicious…I love the photos! And your words are SO important. xoxo
LisaR @ Who Stole My Baby?
April 22, 2013 at 10:22 pm (12 years ago)Yep. Be nice online. Reading comment sections just pisses me off. I just go with the whole, If you can’t say anything nice, then just shut up already.
Susan
April 22, 2013 at 10:50 pm (12 years ago)The recipe looks positively wonderful and I’ll definitely try it. AND, more importantly, your brief essay on kindness is AWESOME! My grandma always told me, “If you can’t way anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” THINK seems to have become the new saying for essentially the same thing. The way we act and speak in public may be the only thing that someone ever sees or hears from us. It COUNTS! Thank you so much for the post (and the recipe)!!!
Barbara | Creative Culinary
April 22, 2013 at 10:51 pm (12 years ago)I pretty much presume that most of those folks leaving nasty comments are leading sad lives. Not that it makes it OK, but I just feel sorry for them, trying to put others down so they can feel better. Sometimes censorship does need to prevail…maybe there is a correlation. Anonymous doesn’t count and neither do their comments!
Fabulous, wonderful presentation. I use portabella for a lot of things…guess now I need to try it for lasagna!
lynn @ the actor's diet
April 22, 2013 at 11:02 pm (12 years ago)I rarely get comments on my blog anymore, but the occasional negative one definitely hurts. I have learned to develop a thicker skin, and I have to say that when I appear in a video that gets tens of thousands of hits (like this one I did – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcxkrMWdXP0) with hundreds of comments, I now find the negativity quite amusing. I think it teaches you to not rely on feedback too much…there is such a thing as constructive criticism, but I think there is a danger in believing just the wonderful stuff that is definitely a part of living in the public eye which can be damaging when it goes away (and it always does). Unfortunately, I think cyberbullying is here to stay – and I agree that we have to learn to teach one another that it isn’t okay – but we also have to remind others (and ourselves) that we have control over how to react – we ALWAYS have control.
Suzanne
April 22, 2013 at 11:17 pm (12 years ago)I totally agree with you! Why people are rude online is beyond me. These mushrooms look great! I really need one now!!
Carrie @ Bakeaholic Mama
April 23, 2013 at 12:59 am (12 years ago)Wow! These mushrooms just floored me… can’t wait to try them out.
Courtney Jones
April 23, 2013 at 2:31 am (12 years ago)This looks amazing! 🙂 What a great idea. I cannot wait to try these out 🙂
I agree – the interest creates too much anonymity and too many people take that as liberty to trash one another online. It’s awful. Life is tough enough without all of the added bullying and negativity. It’s crazy how such words can be so hurtful. It’s tough to shrug them off. I really wish people were more supportive and positive.
On a positive note – I adore your blog 🙂
Pat
April 23, 2013 at 2:53 am (12 years ago)I just posted something about kindness too. I think it’s best to say nothing if you feel a bit snarky. Comments that are ugly and demeaning are so hurtful.
This dish looks and sounds divine! I will definitely try it. Thanks so much for sharing and for the gorgeous photos.
xo
Pat
Isabel
April 23, 2013 at 3:02 am (12 years ago)I agree with you. I don’t understand nasty people. If you don’t have a good positive thing to say “keep it to yourself”!
Your dish looks great. I will try it this weekend.
Thanks
Isa
PapaLos @ The Man, The Chef, The Dad
April 23, 2013 at 3:14 am (12 years ago)Comment sections were created by the devil.
I hate reading comments for all the same reasons. There is so much negativity on the internet – so many people who hate everything from their lives to yours – and they have the freedom to say anything they want?! Whose idea was that, internet?? I’ve learned that if I get mad at reading comments then it’s my fault because I was reading them. I know exactly what you mean and I hate that the world as a whole doesn’t open its eyes and see we’re all people. It’s cheesy, but I can’t stand when mean people bring you down.
I could go on and talk about the internet fights I’ve unwillingly found myself in, but I’ll just stop and say how freaking tasty these mushrooms look. They look insanely filling and so, so good. Thanks!
DessertForTwo
April 23, 2013 at 11:11 am (12 years ago)Preaching to the choir. Even if what you’re saying will never get back to the person you’re talking about, why be so ugly? I love that phrase “What Susie says of Sally says more of Susie.” Life is too short to fill our mind and mouths with negativity and hate.
Tracy | Peanut Butter and Onion
April 23, 2013 at 11:55 am (12 years ago)Love stuffing food into other food… good combo!
Lauren at Keep It Sweet
April 23, 2013 at 12:14 pm (12 years ago)You put things so well here, Julie! I am always amazed at the things people say online… just crazy. And I was actually wondering the same thing about closing comments.
Carol | a cup of mascarpone
April 23, 2013 at 12:36 pm (12 years ago)I am in love with this genius dish…and can’t wait to try it! Absolutely lovely!!!
Katrina @ Warm Vanilla Sugar
April 23, 2013 at 3:30 pm (12 years ago)Loooove the sound of these!! Yum!
Pam
April 23, 2013 at 4:57 pm (12 years ago)Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about kindness — we ALL need a reminder from time to time, and this is a great little acronym to keep in mind!
Love this recipe idea — I’m anxious to try it but I suppose I better wait until work is over for the day…
Love your blog and recipes!! Thanks for all you do…
Leila @ The Milk Truck
April 24, 2013 at 2:52 pm (12 years ago)This looks DIVINE! I think I could eat stuffed portobellos every single night if you let me!! Turning them into tiny lasagnas is pretty genius. I might have to give this a try soon! Would make week night comfort food cravings a lot easier to take care of 🙂 (and a light lighter!)
Leila @ The Milk Truck
April 24, 2013 at 2:53 pm (12 years ago)Also – What brand of tomato paste do you use? I have a hard time finding one that I like because i don’t like it when it’s sweet….
Julie Ruble
April 26, 2013 at 10:05 pm (12 years ago)Well, there’s no tomato paste in this, but if you mean the pasta sauce, I used Fresh Market’s store brand and enjoyed it!
Patricia
April 24, 2013 at 9:38 pm (12 years ago)I teach 7th graders too. I will have to try out the fruit roll-up tongue tattoos. 🙂 These lasagna mushrooms look amazing!
Ellis Aeryn
April 25, 2013 at 12:44 pm (12 years ago)All these comments in support of doing away with comments.
Julie Ruble
April 26, 2013 at 10:04 pm (12 years ago)It’s a little funny, right? But I think it depends on the medium.
Laura
April 26, 2013 at 8:26 am (12 years ago)Drool!!! 🙂 On my must-try list!
Christina Gillespie
July 19, 2013 at 4:13 am (11 years ago)The recipe looks great. I am always looking for meatless monday recipes my husband will eat. I totally agree with you about behavior on the in Internet. People can be so nasty. There is enough despair and suffering in the world already.
Christina Gillespie
July 19, 2013 at 4:15 am (11 years ago)Well just to be clear I will leave the sausage out.
Julie Ruble
July 19, 2013 at 4:16 am (11 years ago)LOL, oh I didn’t even notice when I read your comment 🙂 This is definitely perfect for Meatless Mondays (without the sausage!) 🙂 Hope you love it!
Toni
March 31, 2014 at 7:02 am (11 years ago)These mushrooms look amazing! Can’t wait to try them. Ditto about the negative comments. Just as unnecessary are all of the negative comments people feel free to voice about anyone, to anyone in any public forum!